Welcome to the 1,208th day of January! Much like the state of the world, my reading genres were all over the place and a little nuts. However, I embraced the audio format and devoured a personal record number of books this month! Hooray for staying just a little tuned into the news – and then saving my mental health by diving into escapism fiction. Happy reading, friends!

Physical: 4
Audio: 8
Mix: 4
DNF: 3

Format: Audio
Genre: Romance (of the regency and raunchy variety)
Rating: 3.25/5

I finished the 2024 reading year by gobbling up half of the fluffy ridiculous romance novels in the Bridgerton series (audio format). I have no regrets. Are these books a little like the song “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” – where you’re having a great time until you realize they’re pretty problematic? Sure. Just don’t think too hard about it and you’ll have a good time with the charming jerks in this series.

Format: Audio
Genre: Fiction (I refuse to call this a thriller.)
Rating: 2/5

Friends, I OVER-CORRECTED. I thought I needed to cleanse my brain of Bridgerton, but I made a horrible mistake. This was supposed to be a follow up to The Firm (which I remember enjoying a solid 25 years ago), but other than the names of the main characters, it really had nothing to do with it. Instead, it was a lawsuit about a construction project in Libya that turns into a (somehow very boring) hostage negotiation. And NO ONE EVEN ASKED ANYONE ELSE TO A BALL. NEXT.

Format: Audio
Genre: Fiction (with sci-fi/fantasy elements?)
Rating: 1.75/5
Library Challenge: Translated Book

It’s not a good sign when I have to think the thought: “Is this experience with a cozy Japanese coffee shop better or worse than reading legal drivel about Libyan terrorism?” Big sigh. Comparing/rating books is impossible, but I had two stinkers in a row. I had seen a lot of hype around this book, but it was another one that totally missed the mark for me. I only kept going because it was a shorter audio book that fit the “translated” category for this year’s library challenge. The premise was very interesting – including time travel and a ghost! – but way too many questions were unanswered and the characters were sad and boring. It could have been so fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun. Time travel AND A GHOST THAT DRINKS COFFEE???? Why was I so boooooored? Why did we have to reflect on Alzheimer’s disease, car accidents, and childbirth complications when there was TIME TRAVEL AND A GHOST THAT DRINKS COFFEE. I’m so upset.

Format: Physical
Genre: YA Fantasy
Rating: 4/5
Library Challenge: Long-time TBR

This book was a journey for me. A good friend suggested it years ago as an all-time favorite – which always adds a little pressure. I had to start this book four times to see it through, but I’m glad I stuck it out. Timing is everything. It involved multiple kingdoms and lots of characters and a very slow start. It took me a couple *years* to give it a real try. However, it picks up once the lovely male character is introduced. It’s an interesting quest and the story wraps up pretty nicely. Do I have questions about the plot? Sure. But I can also just enjoy the adventure elements & go along for the ride. It was a fun YA read with lots of fight scenes, a little magic, and some romance.

Format: Audio
Genre: Fiction
Rating: 2.75/5
Library Challenge: Floral Cover

In hilarious news, I picked this book out for the “floral cover” library challenge, as I said I would choose the first one that with flowers that looked remotely okay. And it was….remotely okay! I could summarize this book in about four sentences, but it did have some humor to keep it interesting. If you like very descriptive character studies with not much else going on, this would be a cozy enough read. It wasn’t great, but it was refreshing to have senior citizen leads who do not take it upon themselves to solve crimes/murders. Apparently senior citizens in books can do other things!

Format: Audio
Genre: Fiction
Rating: 3/5
Library Challenge: Book from the 19th or 20th century

I know that I seem like someone who would have read Jane Austen in high school or was obsessed with the movies based on her books. But – gasp – I had never read/watched a single story. The best part about reading this novel was realizing how much listening to Bridgerton helped prepare me for it, hahahaha. There is a very specific cadence and vocabulary to these British tales, and reading a little regency romance helped set me up for something much more “proper”. Overall, I felt like I needed to read this with the help of an excited English teacher or to have watched the movie first. Because it was a very drawn out way to say: two jerks hate each other until they don’t. Love story as old as time! I’m glad I read it, but I’m also glad that my husband dug up the old episode of Wishbone to help explain it to me.
**Update: I did watch the 2005 Keira Knightley movie version after writing this review. I should have watched the movie first. Ha!

Format: Physical
Genre: Romance (of the raunchy and ridiculous kind)
Rating: 2.75/5
Library Challenge: Published in 2025

Do you know how FAST you can read a contemporary romance novel after listening to all of Pride & Prejudice? It was like eating a full course fancy meal with etiquette guidelines and then following it up by chugging Pixie Sticks. While I didn’t enjoy this as much as Raiders of the Lost Heart, and some phrases/scenes made me throw up a little in my mouth, I knew what I signed up for and enjoyed the cheesy ridiculousness.

Format: Audio
Genre: Thriller
Rating: 3.25/5

Did I take down my Christmas decorations and go on a cleaning spree while listening to a psychopath attack people? Absolutely, I did. Yikes. This book was going to serve as my Freida McFadden tie-breaker (I quit one and I gobbled up another with intrigue), but I have to admit that I am still undecided about these books. If you like creepiness and twists and some gore, this will do it for you!

Format: Physical
Genre: Romance/Mystery
Rating: 4.5/5
Library Challenge: Whodunit

There are cringe-worthy cliches and things that a reader could be really picky about – but I don’t care. It was FUN! A quick mystery with just the right amount of suspects. These hot dummies unpack emotional baggage while solving crime! It’s a little lusty but closed-door and suspenseful without too much stress. I wanted a fun read, and I got it – rounding up to my first 5 star of the year!

Format: Audio/Physical Mix
Genre: Romance (of the regency and raunchy variety)
Rating: 4/5

Does this read like problematic Sound of Music fanfic? Sure. Can I recommend this series? Not really. Are they quick reads that make me chuckle a bit in all of their over-the-top glory and make me work in random 19th century phrases into my daily life? Absolutely. I should not like this series, but for some reason I keep coming back for more.

Format: Audio/Physical Mix
Genre: Children’s Fiction
Rating: 2/5

If you have sweet nostalgia for this book or thought it was about light overcoming the dark, please just skip ahead. It’s apparently a very hot take that this book makes for a miserable experience, starting out like a dream of whimsy and delight before plummeting into uncomfortable abuse and unlikable characters. And I’m all about breaking the fourth wall, dear reader, but this book busted down the fourth wall, reader, in maximum condescension. But reader, free to look that up ‘condescension’ in the dictionary, reader. I was sooooo frustrated, reader.

Format: Audio/Physical Mix
Genre: Mystery/Fiction
Rating: 4/5

I gave up on The Thursday Murder Club series – I liked the writing, but the characters annoyed me greatly. So I thought I’d try the same author with a new batch of characters. It mostly worked! While I would have loved this book to be half the length (it easily could have told the same story in 250 pages instead of 400!!), it was a fun mystery with quirky people. I would read the next in the series.

Format: Audio/Physical Mix
Genre: Middle Grade Fantasy
Rating: 1.75/5

This might have been a case of poor expectations. This read as Men in Black, Jr., but you aren’t rooting for anybody in the entire book. Artemis was extremely unlikeable (along with the rest of the cast?). The best part of the book is when the fairy punched him in the face. I’m glad this series is for somebody, but it definitely was not for me.

Format: Audio
Genre: Children’s Fiction
Rating: 4.25/5
Library Challenge: Recommended by a Friend

After hearing me complain about the children’s books mentioned above, my husband suggested this winner from his childhood. I was happy to report that – not only did it hold up – it redeemed this month’s “Newberry Award Winner Mouse Novel” category. Boring in a simply lovely way, I really enjoyed this bada$$ mouse mother. It was just the right amount of weird.

Format: Physical
Genre: Romantasy (520 pages of adventure, 7 pages of explicitness *you’ve been warned)
Rating: 5/5 (Any book that makes me gasp, laugh out loud, or cry is in automatic consideration for a five. This book – annoyingly – made me do it all.)
Library Challenge: Quest Novel

I can justify people loving or loathing this series. Personally, I’m a sucker for Rebecca Yarros. She sets things up, and I fall for them every time. I refuse to spoil anything, but she is the queen of page turners and cliffhangers in a series: At the end of book one, I gasped. After book two, I was enraged. Finishing book three, I’m so excited to see where she takes this crazy ride. (No spoilers – but if you haven’t read Iron Flame lately, you have to just accept you won’t remember 83% of names or places and she adds 1700 new ones. Just go along for the ride!)

Format: Audio
Genre: YA Fiction
Rating: 3/5
Library Challenge: Fairytale Retelling

I powered through finishing this audio book after crashing from my Onyx Storm high/hangover. There were many elements to this Cinderella story that I enjoyed and found twisty and delightful, but it was very drawn out and lagged in many spots. It was….fine!

January’s Quit List:

DNF @ 8%. On paper, this is a book I would love. I didn’t love it – and that’s okay! It was incredible wordy to the point of being painful. And while I like the idea of curmudgeons, there is a fine line between being aloof/grumpy and being clueless/cold. This is a magical tale for the fans of Eleanor Oliphant, one of my least favorite characters of all time (Heidi ducks).

DNF @ 5%. I went looking for a “fairy tale retelling”, but my face fell staring at the remaining 13 hours of audio book. I’ll admit I didn’t give this one much of a chance, but it failed to hook me in the first hour…so that was enough.

Oofta. The concept was fascinating. I mean, what IF you cloned yourself but then your husband had an affair with the clone and then the clone killed your husband?! I mean, WHAT IF. However, this was way more gore than I expected, told by an emotionless main character. Not my thing, but if you have ever said, “I like Freida McFadden but wish it had more sci-fi elements”, this is a book for you!

Happy Reading in 2025!!

Thanks for coming along on my reading journey this year. Here’s my 2024 wrap up! Y’all, I made it to 144 books this year. Who even am I??
This includes audio and physical books – and my favorite style: hopping back and forth between audio/physical. Books “counted” if they were over 100 pages, but let’s also celebrate all those amazing picture books, graphic novels, books I quit, and internet scrolling. All reading counts!

Disclaimer: The best thing about books is how they can hit so differently from person to person. I have loathed some of my friends’ favorite books. So, these are purely based on vibes and my personal feelings and opinions.
Historical fiction? Grab me a pillow for a nap.
Realistic fiction that requires crying? How dare you.
Super random weirdo humor with a hint of magic? Sign me up.
So if you agree, tell me! If you disagree, fight me! If you are appalled by my choices, MAKE UP YOUR OWN AWARDS.

Here are the 2024 stats.
I read or listened to 144 books this year. And I logged them in a spreadsheet. Because I’m a nerd.

Without further ado, I present: The 2nd Heidi Ann-ual Reading Awards!

Favorite Book of the Year:

Do you remember what it was like to find a book when you were young and innocent and it had just the perfect amount of magic? This is adult fiction, but it will make you feel like a kid enjoying reading again. A girl that loves tea cups, a quest, funny sidekicks, and a magical adventure. Humorous and lovely, I sighed and wanted to hug it when it was over – and that’s my favorite kind of book.

Best Fiction of the Year:

This is probably going to be my most controversial pick. This is a weird book, and I could easily see why some people would hate it. I loved it (see disclaimer above). Every time the character’s husband goes into a magical attic, he disappears and it spits a new husband out. The most suspenseful part of this book was figuring out how in the world the author was going to write her way out of quite the plot pickle.

HONORABLE MENTION:
2.) The Mostly True Story of Tanner and Louise by Colleen Oakley
3.) Finlay Donovan Rolls the Dice by Elle Cosimano
4.) Daisy Jones and the Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid
5.) The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon

Best Children’s or Middle Grade:

It only took my 12 years to figure out what everyone already knew. This book is a winner, and I forgive it for making me cry.

HONORABLE MENTION:
2.) BOB by Wendy Mass
3.) Out of my Mind by Sharon Draper
4.) The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum
5.) The Life of Zarf by Rob Harrel

Best Romance:

Emily Henry made me fall in love with the genre (in all of its cheesy glory). Her latest book delighted me, and the banter was divine.

HONORABLE MENTION:
2.) Variation by Rebecca Yarros
3.) A Novel Love Story by Ashley Poston
4.) The Seven Year Slip by Ashley Poston
5.) This Summer Will be Different by Carley Fortune
6.) Just for the Summer by Abby Jimenez

Best YA

I can’t necessarily recommend this book, but it made me feel feelings and branch out into a different genre/format of book (thanks, library challenge!). I appreciated it for what it was.

HONORABLE MENTION:
2.) The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas
3.) Stolen Time by Danielle Rollins
4.) The Toll (The Scythe Series) by Neal Shusterman
5.) A Wizard’s Guide to Defensive Baking by T. Kingfisher

Best Sci-fi/Fantasy

This was the most lovely surprise. Humor, science, suspense. It made me overcome my fear of space books. Good recommendation, Husband!

HONORABLE MENTION:
2.) The House in the Cerulean Sea (reread) by TJ Klune
3.) Starter Villain by John Scalzi
4.) The Kaiju Preservation Society by John Scalzi
5.) Going Postal by Terry Pratchett

Best Thriller/Mystery

I will even forgive this book for using one of my least favorite plot lines: increasing suspense using diabetic emergency (eye rolls forever). This was creepy and intense and made me see the appeal of Ruth Ware (after the first book I read was a slight slog).

HONORABLE MENTION:
2.) The Housemaid by Freida McFadden
3.) None of This is True by Lisa Jewell

Best Nonfiction/Memior

I tip-toe into any book that I read that comes from an “influencer”, but I enjoy following Taylor Wolfe on Instagram and thought it was worth a shot. It climbed up to be one of my favorite audio books of the year.

HONORABLE MENTION:
2.) Born a Crime by Trevor Noah
3.) ADHD is Awesome by Penn and Kim Holderness

That’s a wrap from me. Whew! Feel free to give me suggestions. The library already released its Bingo board, so apparently we just keep reading! Here are my most anticipated books coming out in 2025:

Happy Reading to All in 2025!

After November was a literary drought, December started with a reading sprint! And now I’m back in a lull. Ha! Sometimes this hobby is feast or famine. I’m going to publish my reviews early this month – as the end of the year is busy, and I want to create a year end review! So here’s the lovely gathering of December books.

Physical: 8
Audio: 4
Mix: 1
DNF: 4

Format: Audio (but checked out the book for illustrations)
Genre: Children’s Fiction
Rating: 4.25/5

As the fourth installment in the “One and Only” series, the final book tied everything together and got back to its beautiful roots. The second and third book really jumped the shark and lost the charm of the original, so I was thrilled when this book returned to Ivan’s point of view. It gave a beautiful take on family and parenting, while bringing back the issues of Ivan’s past filled with loss. I almost gave up on the series, but I’m thankful I gave this one a chance. If you loved the first Ivan book, just skip directly to this one.

Format: Physical
Genre: Nonfiction
Rating: 2.5/5

This wasn’t so much a writer’s “guide” as it was a “series of random pep talks from different people (based on a hashtag) with contradicting advice”. Summary: writing is hard, everyone does it differently, don’t-stop-don’t-give-up. Sooooooo, it was fine but not super helpful.

Format: Audio
Genre: YA Sci-Fi/Fantasy
Rating: 4.25/5

I love when books surprise me. I went into this one with zero expectations and found it available on Libby while in a sci-fi mood. You know it’s a great narrator and decent pacing when I wanted to find an excuse to turn on the audio book. Plus, I did not see the very obvious twist coming, which was a delight in itself. Do you have to overlook some YA cringe and some nonsense time travel logic? Sure. But if you were looking for a solid book containing Six of Crows or Scythe YA vibes sprinkled with time travel, this is a good one. Also, I’m a sucker for an “assemble the heroes” plot line.

Format: Physical
Genre: Children’s Fiction
Rating: 4.25/5

My eldest picked this out to read aloud with me. I wasn’t too excited, which made it even more delightful when we got some actual laugh-out-loud moments and a delightful fairy tale compilation woven into the book. The mix of modern language and fairy tale characters can sometimes be jarring – and watch out for all the plentiful potty humor – but the illustrations and characters were charming. Both boys were ready to cuddle with this one, which made it a winner in my book.

Format: Physical
Genre: Nonfiction/Memoir
Rating: 3.25/5

This is a fun walk down memory lane if you are a fan of Parks and Recreation. However, the overall execution of the book is pretty weak. It’s a hodge-podge of television history (the best and most interesting parts), memories of the show (cute, but often like looking at someone else’s vacation photos – interesting, but you mostly had to be there), and a memoir of Jim O’Heir’s life (also interesting, but the long tangents and stories seem off topic based on the cover). I wish this was just branded as a Jim O’Heir memoir and completely reorganized. That’s me being a very picky reader.

Format: Audio
Genre: YA Sci-Fi/Fantasy
Rating: 3/5

I went straight to this sequel after a twist ending left me intrigued. However, this follow-up lacked the same charm of the original and got so much more complicated (and not in a good way). It’s bound to happen in time travel plots, but this was….a bit much. Another twist/cliffhanger was dropped at the end of this book, but it was more frustrating than anything. I want to finish the trilogy, but it’s pretty much because I’m invested now and the narrator is great.

Format: Physical
Genre: Sci-Fi
Rating: 4/5

(Movie Trailer Voice) IN A WORLD…..where people come back to life if they are intentionally killed…..
This was a big premise that reads like a Law & Order episode. Sometimes briefly graphic, murders are used as “reboots” and a missing persons case is solved in a quick 120ish pages or so. I love the way Scalzi rights dialogue and would have great interest in the next installment of this series.

Format: Audio
Genre: YA Sci-fi/Fantasy
Rating: 2.75/5

(Michael Scott Voice) SNIP SNAP SNIP SNAP SNIP SNAP! Do you have ANY IDEA what it does to a person when you go back in time 500000 times?!?!? I finished the series. I needed a bulletin board connecting timelines and characters, but I did not have the energy or determination to think that hard about this. For being super in love, I think the main characters spent about 5 total hours together. This was an engaging series (thanks to the narrator), but I wouldn’t recommend it beyond the first book.

Format: Physical
Genre: Contemporary Romance (of the raunchy variety)
Rating: 4.5/5

Yarros!!! There is something about her writing that makes me devour her books. I’m sure you can pick them apart (definitely not for everybody), but they are quick reads where you can just go along for the ride. This is a second-chance-fake-dating-OOPS-ONE-BED-soap-opera that is over-the-top and more complicated than it needs to be, as 200 pages could easily be chopped out. However, I was stressed enough to peek ahead and it kept me reaching for the book instead of my phone, so that’s a WIN. Ballet dancers and a hot Coast Guard rescue swimmer. What more could you ask for?

Format: Physical
Genre: Comedy/Cartoon
Rating: 4/5

I’m going to count this, because I have read so many pages in the books that I quit that haven’t “counted” – it all balances out, ya know? Anyway, this collection of very short stories and cartoons is completely absurd and random humor. It’s worth reading if you like to laugh at ridiculous things like bears cursing and birds wearing pants.

Format: Physical
Genre: Children’s
Rating: 1/5

Once every decade, I try to like this book. It never works. This might be my least favorite book of all time. I know, I know! I’m an elementary teacher! There’s imagery and a vague ending for discussion! But, alas, I do not enjoy a single second of it. I only read it this year to follow along with my kid’s book club.
“This was a terrible book.” – My sixth grader.
Apparently, it runs in the family! We are with the 50,000 people on Goodreads that missed the point, while 1.1 million people gave it 5 stars. I mean, what’s not to love about a pill to stop sex dreams, graphic baby euthanasia, 1:1 tutoring sessions with a creepy old man, vivid descriptions of the cries of men dying on a battlefield, and a very poorly explained dystopian society? Did I mention the vague ending? What a party!!

Format: Mix of Physical/Audio
Genre: Regency Romance (of the clutching-your-pearls variety)
Rating: 3/5

Sometimes you walk by a book in the library and think WHY NOT?! I knew nothing about this book – other than it was a regency romance (a genre I’ve never tried) and it was turned into a raunchy Netflix show (that I’ve never seen). To my delight, there was a lot of humor and the plot was more interesting than I expected. I adored the first half, but then it really took a turn (big “I can change him!” energy with some problematic/manipulative events). Overall, it was a fun introduction to the genre, and a boost from the audio book made me narrate my own life in the voice of Mrs. Potts for a while.

Format: Physical
Genre: Children’s
Rating: 4/5

Drew Daywalt has some fantastic picture book humor, and it was fun to see it translate into a chapter book. A dog’s POV of misinterpreting everything in the human world is always going to be funny, and the pictures add to the story and charm. It gets a little more complicated than it needs to be, but he does a great job pulling it together. This book was my youngest son’s read-aloud pick, and it was a fun one with many LOL moments.

The December Quit List:

DNF @ 8%: When you know, you know. This character was absolutely miserable, and I did not have hope for it to be “funny and heartwarming” as the blurb promised me. A skim of Goodreads comments confirmed that it was unlikely to improve.

DNF @ 5%: While fascinating, I could tell it was going to bounce around history and locations and give me 1000 names in an audio book. I was not in the mood. It’s not you, it’s me.

DNF @ 6%: Once again, I was just not in the mood for breaking the 4th wall that hard. When books try to be super relatable – YOU DON’T KNOW ME, BOOK. I’m weird.

DNF @ 7% Oh, how I want to love this series. This is – once again – a me problem. I read the series out of order, and then the author gave me this book of short stories that bounced around the timeline. I might come back to it sometime, but I just wasn’t excited to pick it up. Sometimes that’s all you need to know.

Get ready for my end of year awards! The name is still in the works, but it will obviously be the most coveted award that no one knows about. Except for you, dear reader that made it to the end of the blog. You are a champion.

Two. Two books. Two completed books.
It was a rough month for reading. November started as a distracting beast and kicked off a massive reading slump. However, I have a few books started for December and hope to finish the year strong. I only need one more book to tie last year’s record!

Physical: 0
Audio: 0
Mix: 2
DNF: 5 – LIFE IS TOO SHORT.

Format: Mix Audio/Physical (Great Narrator!)
Genre: Science Fiction
Rating: 5/5

My husband recommended this one, and I’m delighted to report that I overcame my fear of space books and absolutely loved this novel. I can’t tell you my favorite parts, because it would ruin all of the charm and twists. This would make a great gateway into science-fiction if you have never dabbled in the genre. I will patiently await the movie – coming not-so-soon (May 2026)!

Format: Physical/Audio Mix
Genre: Contemporary Romance (of the raunchy variety)
Rating: 3.75/5

I promised myself long ago that I would attempt to read any book that made me snort-laugh in a library aisle. Look, this is explicit and stupid – but it’s also pretty charming and follows the rom-com formula without making me completely die of cringe. However, if you read this, you didn’t hear about it from me.

THE QUIT LIST. I gave most of these a serious chance. But if you break up with a book and feel relieved, you have made the correct decision. Onward, friends!

DNF @ 61%
It’s so painful to get 2/3 in a book and have to call it. This novel had a charming premise and a fun buddy road trip plot – until it didn’t. The deep dives into European political fan fic was just too much for me. I tried my best.

DNF @ 31%
She’s 26. He’s 33. They acted like they were 12. While the service dog trainer and single dad plot kept me hanging on for a while, I was so bored. Next!

DNF @ 11%
Once again, this might have been a me problem. At this time, I did not have the stamina for the amount of world building this book required. Plus, it was about a planet with nightmares. I was not in the mood.

DNF @ 32%
I want to like cozy books, but this one was beyond a Hallmark movie. I couldn’t take it anymore. Grumpy/Sunshine in a small town. He’s been heartbroken by a different big city girl – will this one be worth risking his heart? She wants a fresh start – but what could she possibly have to give him? I guess I will never know…

DNF @ 40%. This book was recommended to me, and I understand why! This was totally a timing issue in my brain, and I was not in the mood. But it’s quirky and fun and might make a comeback list in the future. This is a book for people that liked the Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine vibes but hated Eleanor Oliphant. So if that very specific description hits, this might be for you!

Ready for a new month of reading! I have a couple fun read-aloud books in progress with the boys, so I will have a bit of variety to end the year. Stay tuned!

Physical: 6
Audio: 4
Mix: 4
DNF: 1

In the spirit of Halloween, I decided to go with a zombie reading theme this month. But since I am scared of the horror genre, a zombie theme means that most of the books in October rose from the depths of the DNF list to come back to life. My experiment showed that the timing and format of books truly makes a difference. I’m happy to report that many of the books I was wishy washy on actually passed the second chance test. (To be fair, I only picked books that had a legitimate shot.)

Format: Mix of Audio/Physical
Genre: Sci-fi/Fantasy
Rating: 3/5
October Quest for Redemption: I never quit this book, but I thought about quitting this book. D’oh! So this was a slow-and-steady story, but I finished it!

I picked this book because it falls in the “secret projects” category of Brandon Sanderson novels, and Tress of the Emerald Sea was my favorite book of the YEAR. Unfortunately, this book did not create the same magic in my head. While the premise was fantastic (waking up in a parallel dimension without memories), this trip through a portal was often a slog. There was humor, but it was often based on a recurring joke that got pretty old. The middle part of the book got really in the weeds of world building. It was cute, but it wasn’t the Tress-like delight I was anticipating.

Format: Mix of audio/physical
Genre: Contemporary Romance (rated PG-13 tops)
Rating: 4/5
October Quest for Redemption: Success! I quit this book because of the audio book’s male narrator. Imagine saying the name “Bree” in the skit of SNL’s The Californians over and over. The surfer dude was killing the vibe. Once I got the physical copy from the library, I was able to fly through the book. I’m glad I didn’t give up on it, because the ending picked up into a Hallmark movie style.

Look, this is a contemporary romance that can make adult characters sound like teenage angst. It’s annoying and cavity-inducing from pure sweetness. Sometimes it reads like “OMG YOU GUYS – HE DOESN’T EVEN LIKE ME LIKE THAT”. However, if you are in the mood for a closed-door (but still plenty of tension) rom-com, this will do the trick. It’s a friends-to-lovers banter-filled adorableness that could cut out 200 pages if one of them would shut up and say “I like-you-like-you”. If you need a fast rom-com, it’s not bad.

Format: Physical
Genre: Children’s Fantasy
Rating: 3/5
October Quest for Redemption: I had recently quit another book by this author that was adult fantasy, so I gave her another shot with a children’s book. It was okay.

It had been too long since I did a read aloud with the boys, and this book had a giant cat on it. An obvious pick. However, it took way too long to introduce the reasons for why this cat was magically growing (Spoiler: Just Random Magic). The characters were cute, but the boys lost interest pretty quickly. In fact, I finished it off on my own and summarized it for them. No regrets.

Format: Audio
Genre: YA Fiction
Rating: 3.5/5
October Quest for Redemption: In a reverse of The Cheat Sheet scenario above, this time I needed to swap out the physical book for the audio.

I will totally admit that I messed up with this series. I quit this book, read the 5th one, and then came back when realized I needed the 4th one completed for it all to make sense. Long story short, this series is super uneven in pacing, filled with a ridiculous amount of characters, and riddled with cliffhangers. It’s like four books have been shuffled together. As much as I should probably drop it all together, I will almost certainly read the next book in the series.

Format: Physical
Genre: Thriller
Rating: 4.25/5
October Quest for Redemption: I quit another Freida McFadden book this year, but I kept hearing about how much people LOVE her and this book was popping up everywhere. I’m glad I gave her a second chance (but it might be a while before I try again).

I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t *that*. I hate to write anything about it, because spoilers would ruin the creepy experience. I raced to finish this book, but I didn’t want to pick it up at the same time. If you want a messed-up-psychological-thriller, this is a good one.

Format: Audio
Genre: Cozy Fantasy
Rating: 2/5

It’s a book about dreams, and it will put you to sleep. The cover and the summary lured me in, but this was a snooze. I’m all about cozy fantasy low stakes, but this was NO stakes. Seriously, there was no conflict and barely anything happened. I kept waiting for a plot, but it was pretty much only world building. It’s a cool world, but I definitely missed the point.

Format: Physical
Genre: YA Fiction
Rating: 4.5/5
October Quest for Redemption: Confession time. I had only heard good things about this book, but I absolutely hate the imagery of fish out of water. The cover kept me from a great book for the last 12 years. However, I saw that they were making a movie on Disney+. The trailer was so good that I immediately checked out the book.

Wow. As a fifth grade teacher, I really missed the boat on this book. It pulls of the wonderful feat of representing disabilities and diversity without pandering in a condescending tone. While the ending got a bit far-fetched and obnoxious, the first 75% of this book was amazing. It shows the harsh realities of growing up and being different, while also demonstrating empathy and what happens when people lead with compassion. I loved it and can’t wait until the movie comes out next month.

Format: Audio/Physical Mix
Genre: According to Wikipedia – “Tragedy” (Fun!)
Rating: 2.5/5
October Quest for Redemption: I picked this up at a thrift store and have started it at least 4 times. I’m glad to check it off the “classics” list, but it’s not the must-read I thought it would be…

Well, that was….fine? If you like miserable people, lots of fancy words, and the phrase “old sport”, this book is for you! The most hilarious part of this book is that I was unspoiled for a plot that is 99 years old. Hardly anything happens for 100 pages and then it goes off the rails. I am baffled why this is common high school literature, but yay for nerdy English teachers? What a weird little book.

Format: Audio/Physical Mix
Genre: Mystery
Rating: 1.75/5
October Quest for Redemption: I started this book and then got a nasty case of flu-Covid. It ruined the vibe. It did not pass the quest for redemption experiment.

I really wanted to like this book, but I was so annoyed by it. Maybe I need to finally give up on the “senior-citizens-are-quirky-and-above-the-law” genre. It’s obviously not for me. The huge cast and loose ends throughout this book are incredibly frustrating. Throw in random suicides and unlikeable characters, and I’m ready to quit the series. The overall writing was entertaining, but I was relieved when it was over.

Format: Audio
Genre: Mystery-ish Detective-y
Rating: 1.75/5

My sister recently recommended the Apple TV show based off of this book. As I was listening to the audio book, I had the rare thought of “this would actually make a better TV show”. For a novel, it was doing way too much – too many characters, side plots, crass descriptions… While it had some interesting plot twists, it was just plain unpleasant (trigger warning for language, body parts, sex, child death, murder, and more!). It would need the action sequences and Vince Vaughn humor of television to turn this plot around. It was interesting to see what Carl Hiaasen did with adult fiction, but this was too adult for me. Give me Hoot back.

Format: Physical
Genre: Children’s Fantasy
Rating: 3.5/5

I really wanted to like this book more than I did. It had so many delicious ingredients and the artwork was stunning. However, the characters fizzled and the last 20% was a bit disappointing compared to the amount of effort I had invested into this world. It has many similarities to Narnia or Harry Potter, but it was just frustrating in the end.

Format: Audio
Genre: Nonfiction
Rating: 3.25/5

This is another book that I wanted to rate much higher, but something was just missing. I used to be a pretty big history nerd, so I found these stories fascinating. The idea of telling the stories of lesser-known characters in history was intriguing and I was very impressed with the research and topics covered. However, it was too much. The organization of this book was so confusing. She jumped around chronologically, connected some stories while abandoning others, and broke the fourth wall with pop culture references and modern slang. I can even tell you who the “twelve unsung Americans” are from the title because SO many characters, events, and tangents were dumped in each chapter. It was overwhelming. Yet, the themes of the past are more than relevant today, and this was a fantastic reminder of how much (recent!) history is overlooked and forgotten.

Format: Physical
Genre: Middle Grade Fiction/Poetry
Rating: 5/5

Wow. This was unexpected. If you would have told me that a book written in free verse – that was also a minefield of bullying, fat shaming, and middle grade triggers – would somehow creep into my top 10 books of the year, I would have laughed in your face. This book was just vulnerable and awful and wonderful. I definitely wouldn’t give this to a young person and walk away, but it would help explain the need to have empathy for others and work as a good conversation starter.

Format: Physical
Genre: YA Fiction
Rating: 3/5

I enjoy the challenge of reading what my son’s book club is reading, but that doesn’t always mean I enjoy the book, haha. This novel was a boring journey through grief. The characters did eventually grow on me, but – whew – realistic sad fiction is not my jam. And again with the fish cover! Bwahahahaha.

The Quit List

This is a book that might be on the Redemption Quest List for another month. A guy landing on the surface of a planet where the inhabitants have to outrun the sun sounded intriguing. I tried, but I just couldn’t get into it.

I cannot believe it’s November when I post this. Here’s hoping to finishing the year with some real winner books! Happy reading!

For the first time in 2024, I didn’t break into the double digits for my book count. Oops! It wasn’t the best month of reading (not much to see here), but I’m optimistic for October. I’m going to get back in the groove and pick some winners!? Here’s hoping!

Total Books:
Physical: 3
Audio: 4
Mix: 1
DNF: 1

Format: Audio
Genre: Thriller (slower psychological suspense)
Rating: 3/5
I read it because: time to switch up the genre & it was available
Warnings: general creepiness, teen pregnancy, death
I would recommend this to: readers wanting a thriller without being scared

This was an interesting book to break up the groove of my cheesy romance novels. A writer learns a story from a student and writes the novel after he learns of the student’s death – but then creepy messages start accusing him of plagiarism. (I just learned how to spell plagiarism!) The narrator created suspense and a relatable character, but it was pretty slow overall and I saw the twist from a mile away. It was interesting but mostly uncomfortable.

Format: Physical
Genre: YA Fiction
Rating: 2.75/5
I read it because: I loved the original Inheritance Games book
Warnings: death/suicide, puzzles, unfinished plot points.
I would recommend this to: fans of the series and puzzles

This series baffles me, as my star ratings went from 5 to 4 to 5 to DNF to 2.75?!? By quitting the 4th book, I obviously missed out on some set up to the fifth – but I used my context clues to pick up the story where it left off. Unfortunately, this book also disappointed me and couldn’t live up to the original trilogy. I committed to over 360 pages of puzzles and escape rooms for a cliffhanger and nothing but frustration. I might have to call it quits on this series.

Format: Audio
Genre: Humor/Fantasy
Rating: 3/5
I read it because: I was intrigued by a card in a Barnes & Noble.
Warnings: Evil Villain Violence
I would recommend this to: fans of the Apprentice to the Villain books

For the third book in a row, I give the rating of, “Eh, it was fine.” The premise of this book was SO MUCH FUN. A guy wakes up without memories in a castle and figures out that he’s actually an evil villain. The main cast of characters is very entertaining but it gets really bogged down in the second half and is overly complicated. However, there are some good chuckles woven throughout the story and it was a fun narrator.

Format: Audio
Genre: Fiction
Rating: 2.25/5
I read it because: I enjoyed Thank You for Listening by the same author/narrator
Warnings: Cancer, Grief/Loss, the only tolerable characters fall out of the book never to be seen again
I would recommend this to: people that want to remember that feeling of being in college and ignoring relationship red flags. See: “I Want Crazy” by Hunter Hayes

Book blurbs should not give away major plot points, but they should also not bait-and-switch the reader. What I thought was going to be a fun romance turned into annoying characters trauma dumping for hours. I was actively rooting for these characters to break up. Oops.

Format: Physical
Genre: Fantasy
Rating: 3.25/5
I read it because: I loved the characters and world of the first book.
Warnings: Adoption, Child Abuse, Beyond blatant woke-splaining of Racism, LGBTQ+ rights, Illegal Immigration, Fascist Government, Stealing Indigenous Land, Book Banning and so much more!
I would recommend this to: fans of the Delores Umbridge storyline of Harry Potter (which is hysterical, because the author uses the acknowledgement section to rip apart JK Rowling)

I know I shouldn’t get my hopes up for sequels. I know it. But sometimes I can’t help it – I loved the characters of the first book SO much. The world and the characters stayed charming and the writing is excellent Klune – brilliant imagery and easy to read. However, the book does not trust the reader, and it reads like a liberal lecture. It’s like, “Hey, I know I was pretty clear in my fantasy metaphors, but DO YOU GET IT!? HERE IS WHAT I MEAN BY IT.” Yes, we got it. But Chauncey is still my favorite.

Format: Physical
Genre: Nonfiction
Rating: 4/5
I read it because: I enjoy the Holderness family, genre switch up, friend recommendation
Warnings: All things ADHD (obviously)
I would recommend this to: Anyone who has, suspects they have, or loves someone who has ADHD

With plenty of disclaimers that this is not a medical book, the Holderness Family shares their experiences with ADHD. Challenges are presented in an optimistic way and provides overviews of the diagnosis. It makes a great introduction to the topic and approaches mental health with humor and compassion.

Format: Mix of Audio/Physical
Genre: Fantasy
Rating: 4/5
I read it because: My husband has been talked about Terry Pratchett for yeeeeeears.
Warnings: N/A
I would recommend this to: fans of British humor and words

My husband is a big fan of the Discworld series, so I finally took a recommendation from it. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t this – ha! Set in a fantasy world that mirrors ours but it also very much not ours, a conman must chose between death or running the post office. I mean, that’s pretty funny. A ridiculous cast of characters and a sometimes overcomplicated plot can make this confusing at times. However, if you just enjoy the ride, it’s an entertaining book with some lol moments.

Format: Audio
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Rating: 3.5/5
I read it because: Needed a quick read and light genre. I wanted to give Christina Lauren a second chance after DNFing another book.
Warnings: Toxic Family Relationships, Raunchy Relations
I would recommend this to: fans of Crazy Rich Asians and Ali Hazelwood romance reads

It takes a LOT for me to overlook certain tropes in romance novels, but for some reason this audio book caught me in the right mood and fulfilled the need to shut off my brain and enjoy a rom-com. It’s a grumpy/sunshine, fake marriage, one bed, forced proximity love fest with some graphic doin’ it and a few swears. The humor and ridiculousness kept me engaged, and I enjoy a “hot mess” main lead that has enough confidence to power through a book where it could have easily gone the route of “I’m such a commoner – why would he even *like* like me?” The main characters were likable enough to root for them, even though it dragged a little in the back 40%.

Septembers Quit List:

In my quest to break the pretty-cover-sprayed-edge curse, I really gave this one a chance. It was a dystopian mix of Hunger Games and Avatar – cool, right? But at 37%, I just couldn’t take it any more. It was so boring and overly complicated. The main character had to fight in seven competitions, but I made it through the first one and completely lost interest. It was marketed along the romantasy genre, but it was sci-fi in the most draining way. Plus, she was a suicidal fighter with a traumatic past and didn’t want anyone to touch her. So that was confusing.

That’s it for September – a month that went shockingly fast. Happy Fall Reading!

Seriously, 2024. The end of August? What is happening….

It was a busy month of wrapping up summer activities and diving back into school. We’re one week into the new academic year, and I’m still not ready. This month completed my Goodreads challenge of 100 books for 2024 (any format counts!), so I am officially a nerd.

Total Books: 12
Physical: 5
Audio: 4
Mix: 3
DNF: 4

Two of August’s books cracked the top 10 for the year (including a new favorite!) And one of them slipped into the bottom 10 – d’oh. It’s called balance. Happy reading!

Format: Physical/Audio Mix
Genre: Sci-Fi/Romantasy
Rating: 1.75/5
I read it because: It was pretty and I wanted a sci-fi/fantasy.
Warnings: Very graphic “open door” scenes (and not in a good way, bwahaha), language, violence
I would recommend this to: women that were Team Edward in 2008 and readers that like it when eyes darken

Vampires and warlocks and werewolfs, oh my! And oh, how I wanted to like this one. It was so pretty! A Beauty and the Beast retelling?? Yay!? But oh, how it was not good. The beginning and the premise were awesome – but then it got overly complicated and the romance was gross. Apparently, I’m not into bad boy immature warlocks and a 475 year age gap. That’s a me problem. I kept going out of sheer hope that it would get better, but it just got more confusing and ended with a cliffhanger. This was a very ambitious book (mixing a million monsters and lore together), and it was too much for me.

Format: Physical
Genre: Nonfiction
Rating: 3.25/5
I read it because: I need hope in this election year.
Warnings: All things politics
I would recommend this to: people that need hope in the election year.

I saw this book on Instagram and thought I’d try it out. It wasn’t perfect and went on a few tangents, but it was a refreshing read to take a break from the extremes in politics. It emphasized giving people the benefit of the doubt, embracing nuance in complicated issues, and seeing the humanity in people – especially those you disagree with. It made way too much sense.

Format: Audio
Genre: Poem/Memoir/Short Stories
Rating: 3.25/5
I read it because: Jenny Slate is delightfully weird.
Warnings: This book is so weird.
I would recommend this to: adults that sometimes talk to themselves

This book is fantastic word art but should be consumed in small doses. I cannot describe this book of poems and essays other than it is peak Jenny Slate. She is a whole vibe.

Format: Physical
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Rating: 4.25/5
I read it because: it was on a “you might also like” reading list.
Warnings: the disclaimer page cautions about dyslexia (that’s a new warning for me!), parental neglect, and to clutch your pearls during chapter 34.
I would recommend this to: Romcom fans of second chance romances and – gasp – only one bed!

With serious Abby Jimenez vibes, this story was “obnoxiously cute” – which is how the main character is described throughout most of the book. College exes find each other again and have to mix business with their pining. Humorous banter and sidekick characters helped me overlook any cliches and moments of cringe in this lovely little romance. It was a book I kept wanting to pick up again to finish – which is always a good sign.

Format: Audio
Genre: Middle Grade Fiction
Rating: 3.75/5
I read it because: I saw it in a 6th grade classroom.
Warnings: bullying, middle school feelings
I would recommend this to: 5th/6th graders

This book was able to overcome my lackluster feelings about realistic middle grade novels. It had a diverse cast of characters without plodding through a diversity checklist. It had friendship/crush feelings without inducing nausea. It was sweet and clever with light suspense. It was a very pleasant surprise.

Format: Physical/Audio Mix (Great Narrator!)
Genre: Sci-fi/Fantasy
Rating: 5/5
I read it because: I heard it was a delight on the “cozy fantasy” list.
Warnings: Mild Pirate-based Violence
I would recommend this to: fans of the movie The Princess Bride

For months, I have been telling my husband “I just need a fun, innocent quest with some good sidekicks”. This. Was. It.
Now, it’s not going to be for everybody, as there is a lot of world building and plot that is a bit of a riddle. However, this was a quirky and cute tale that made me want to hug the book. It was clever and charming and I gobbled it up. A girl who loves cups, a quest with found family, pirates, word play, young love, a cursed narrator. My favorite book of the year so far.

Format: Physical
Genre: YA Fiction
Rating: 3.25/5
I read it because: Sequel to The Prince and the Apocalypse
Warnings: plane crash w/injuries, stranded without diabetic supplies, angst
I would recommend this to: fans that need closure from the first book

The sequel continued to be just as over-the-top as the first one, but this is a quick (SUPER FAST) read with decent action sequences and the characters were more charming this time around. If you don’t mind horrendous pouting/communication styles and a few plot points thrown in just for shock value before getting ignored forever, this edition was cute closure for the story. But please stretch your face prior to reading to prepare for the eye rolls ahead.

**This is my second book this year with “I’m stranded on an island and one of the characters is diabetic.” This plot point was so unnecessary. Broken legs, gashed arms, and an erupting volcano was enough drama.

Format: Audio (a must do if you are interested in this one!!)
Genre: Memoir
Rating: 3/5
I read it because: Library Challenge – Auto/Biography
Warnings: Childhood Trauma, Late-diagnosed Dyslexia
I would recommend this to: TV historians and lovers of celebrity memoir

This was adorable and sweet. If you’re interested, I highly recommend the audio book, as he has excellent story telling and his wife of 45+ years reads her perspective on some of the events. The parts where he talked about his life and behind the scenes of his career were very interesting. Unfortunately, sometimes the name dropping and repetitiveness weighed down the book. However, it included great lessons on perseverance and self-growth.

Format: Physical
Genre: Nonfiction
Rating: 4/5
I read it because: I got lost in the hobbies nonfiction section
Warnings: N/A
I would recommend this to: writers that need a coach like Tim Gunn on their shoulder (make it fabulous! Now, time to edit, designers!!)

This was a quick and easy book to encourage writers and give practical tips to draft and revise your work. I appreciated the tips, blah, blah, blah – Here’s my promise to you. If you have actually clicked on this blog, and actually read this far, and didn’t even skip the paragraph about the non-fiction book, and are interested in why I actually read this book, and take the time to message me, I will tell you what I’m dabbling with. Are you brave enough to ask and make me brave enough to tell you about it? Let’s see! Now I’m going to hide that part in more boring words so I can only let you – the devoted reader – feel special about discovering my new hobby. Prose and structure and revision are tools discussed in this easy-to-follow and practical guide.

Format: Audio
Genre: Memoir
Rating: 4.5/5
I read it because: I’ve been meaning to read it forever. It also finished my library challenge.
Warnings: Apartheid/racism, violence, domestic abuse, language
I would recommend this to: Americans that need to zoom out

As I checked out the book, the librarian said, “Oh! This is so good. You HAVE to listen to the audio version.” So, I did – and she was right. Between the African languages and impactful storytelling, listening to Trevor Noah’s book was the correct choice. While uncomfortable, it was informative and emotional and interesting. Now I really want to know how he wound up going from those childhood stories to hosting The Daily Show, because hearing about his life in South Africa was incredible.

Format: Physical
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Rating: 4.25/5
I read it because: I wanted to give Carley Fortune another chance (and I’m glad I did!)
Warnings: It’s raunchy. Stressed friendships and parent/child dynamics, grief/loss
I would recommend this to: fans of Emily Henry or Abby Jimenez and ladies that think oyster shucking is hot

This book helped me break a pet peeve: we time jumped every three chapters and I wasn’t mad about it! Amazing! It was very similar to Happy Place in the way it was told, but I liked these characters better. This book was well on its way to a 5 star romance, but if I had to hear about the three moles on her collar bone one more time……or the fleck of color in his eyes or his teacup birthmark. Stop talking about her moles. (Hey, you can’t please everybody. Maybe some people really want to hear about moles. Maybe I just don’t like the word “moles”.) Anyway, it was way more fun than the other book of hers that I read, and Prince Edward Island was an interesting setting. There were a lot of references to other books – so I’ll need to check out some of the characters’ recommendations.

Format: Audio
Genre: Nonfiction
Rating: 4/5
I read it because: Friend recommendation
Warnings: 2020 references, depression
I would recommend this to: adults that need baby steps to be productive

This isn’t going to be for everyone, but I felt personally called out for the vast majority of this book. If you get overwhelmed with basic tasks, fall to negative self talk, or have an all-or-nothing personality, this is encouraging. If you have an organized brain and find it easy to initiate tasks, this book will sound nuts. It’s just laundry – not a sign of personal failure.

Format: Physical/Audio Mix
Genre: Children’s Fantasy
Rating: 4.25/5
I read it because: I’ve been meaning to read this series forever, and I found the set at a book sale.
Warnings: Peril, bugs, rats, and battles with bugs and rats
I would recommend this to: middle grade students in need of adventure

Before she became the author of The Hunger Games series, Suzanne Collins wrote this series for a younger demographic. Honestly, I don’t know what took me so long to read these books, because they are fun and suspenseful quests. It’s Alice in Wonderland meets Harry Potter meets the Nutcracker meets City of Ember meets Percy Jackson. There are prophecies and battles and quests and friendships and a crazy cast of characters. If you are a fan of adventure in the middle grade genre, this is a solid bet.

August’s Quit List

Some memoirs that include trauma can be a gripping journey where readers are put at ease while battling horrible topics. Gracie Gold has quite the story, but the presentation was uncomfortable. I was forcing myself to read it because of the library challenge, but I realized that I was not the best audience for it. DNF @ 10%.

I was a social studies minor. I love historical topics. So WHY can’t I get into historical fiction!?! This book was chosen after a trip to Galena, Illinois. Galena is amped up on the Grants. We toured the house, and the family was interesting. But after reading the first chapter and carrying this book around the house for three days without opening it again, I realized that I should follow my own rule of quitting books that don’t spark interest and return it to the library.

This is the perfect example of how the romance genre is hilarious. Even though I previously enjoyed this author and gave a very similar book (above) a four star rating, I couldn’t finish this one. Tropes and cliches are rampant in romance – and if it doesn’t work for you, the book is doomed. I could not overcome my personal dealbreaker: “He’s so hot! I know we are best friends and he’s giving me every signal ever, but he could never *like* like me…..did I mention he was also tall?” followed by horrendous miscommunication. Also, it was an audio book where the male narrator sounded like a surfer dude. I couldn’t take it. DNF @ 32%.

This one makes me so sad to DNF. I can’t pinpoint why this didn’t work for me. On paper, it’s everything I could want in a “cozy fantasy”, but I just couldn’t get into it. I felt like I was reading forever and only three pages were completed. I even switched to an audio book assist, but it was taking forever. When it feels like a chore, put it away. DNF @ 37%. So sad.

My pace is slowing down a bit as 2024 enters its final months, and that’s okay. Thanks for following along on my reading journey!

Whew. July’s reading momentum hit a major roadblock at the beginning of the month. I got hit with a nasty flu-version of Covid that took me out of commission for about 6 days. At the beginning, it was the kind of sick where even an audiobook was overstimulating. I couldn’t get out of the brain fog enough to comprehend a paragraph at a time. Yowsa. But I’m happy to report that I got back on track big time! And while I started out with more “fun” books, I fell back into weirdo/murder books. I need to continue my quest to lighten up!!

I also broke this year’s record for the most quits in a month. Life is too short, friends. Enjoy your books!

Audio: 5
Physical: 7
Mix: —
Quit: 6

Format: Physical
Rating: 4/5
I read it because: I needed an easy read to come out of a sickness-induced reading slump.
Warnings: Language, partial 2020 Covid setting, Brief open door scenes and some graphic sexting. Whoopsie doopsie.
I would recommend this to: fans of classic romcoms

The characters had a lot of baggage to unpack and were pretty annoying. However, this is a fast read with entertaining banter (I’m a sucker for flirting via email). It’s a second chance grumpy(her)/sunshine(him) romance, and does that thing where the book uses romance tropes while explaining romance tropes during the narration. After all, the main character is a rom-com screenplay writer, because of course she is. The plot spans a bet over the course of 5 years with a lot of will-they-won’t-they and it was a decently paced rom-com to binge in the last day of my sickness marathon and break the reading slump.

Format: Physical
Rating: 3.75/5
I read it because: husband recommendation
Warnings: animal death, uncomfy family tension
I would recommend this to: readers that really wanted to like Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine and A Man Called Ove but hated both of those books. This book is similar vibes but way better.

This was one of the more unique books I’ve read this year and will not be for everybody. It starts out as simple and charming with a neurodivergent main character trying to solve a pet murder, but then it gets really uncomfortable. I mean, it’s a pet murder mystery that takes a turn to complicated family relationships. However, it was intriguing enough that I also devoured this one in a day (I was still pretty sick, guys. Reading was about all I could do for a couple of days.)

Format: Physical
Rating: 4.5/5
I read it because: I enjoyed her other books
Warnings: language, brief but graphic open door scenes, grief/loss
I would recommend this to: fans of small town Hallmark movies or the TV series Schmigadoon.

I think this makes me an official Ashley Poston fan? I’m also a fan of mixing a typical romance book with any kind of sci-fi element – and she has written three very creative takes on the genre. She’ll be an automatic add to the TBR list for me in the future. This time, the main character gets lost and winds up in the fictional town of her favorite romance series. It’s cute and adorable with some clever twists and nods to her other books. It was even cuter after just reading The Dead Romantics last month. I could be really picky about some things that I didn’t like, but I refuse. It was adorable: the end.

Format: Audio
Rating: 2.5/5
I read it because: it looked cute!
Warnings: Cancer, teen angst
I would recommend this to: middle grade readers that need a next step after the books mentioned below…

This is the book if The One and Only Ivan mixed with The Wild Robot. However, it wasn’t as good as either of those. D’oh! Overall, this was a solid middle grade book with themes of family and science and perseverance. However, a lot of it was disjointed. Giving a Mars rover the inner dialogue of a young child was tiresome after a bit. Beeps and boops. The other perspective was told over the span of 17 years through one-sided pen pal letters written to the robot from a scientist’s daughter. This built in all the angst of a coming of age tale mixed with exploring Mars? It didn’t really do it for me, but that’s okay.

Format: Physical
Rating: 4.5/5
I read it because: I wanted to give Ruth Ware another try.
Warnings: Gruesome injuries, Diabetic complications, Storms, Drowning, Emotional and Physical Abuse, and more!
I would recommend this to: fans of reality dating shows and murder?

It had been a while since I enjoyed the writing of a thriller. I thought Ware’s Zero Days was decent, but I didn’t love the overall plot. Once again, I could pick this one apart, but I’m feeling generous with my stars in July after such a stinker month of June. This one was tense with good suspense and twists, if you can stomach all the ick that getting stranded on an island. It kept me up past my bedtime and made every sound in the house spook me…..so five stars for the page turning aspect alone!

Format: Physical
Rating: 2.25/5
I read it because: I liked The Bodyguard by Katherine Center
Warnings: Grief, Death of a parent, Near-drowning, Cancer, traumatic brain injury, absolutely horrendous communication styes
I would recommend this to: readers that need a fast book and toxic characters

Oh my. On one hand, I could read this book like a movie, it had funny parts, and it was a super fast page-turner. On the other hand, if you stop to think about the main characters too hard, you will hate them. He’s a jerk, she plays games, and they both are in need of lots of trauma informed therapy. Heidi’s generous ratings streak is over. I’m mad.

Format: Physical
Rating: 3/5
I read it because: The author was quoted on the back of The House in the Cerulean Sea
Warnings: Gore/murder, estranged family
I would recommend this to: readers wanting Alice in Wonderland to have gore?

The premise was phenomenal: what happens to the kids that fall through magical portals once they come home? This book answers that question by providing a home for children that get labeled as crazy or are desperate to return to their magical land. However, this amazingly weird found family story starts in a very interesting way and then suddenly morphs into a serial killer murder mystery with super gore? What. Just. Happened.

Format: Audio
Rating:3/5
I read it because: it’s on all the trendy lists right now
Warnings: Lying, car accidents/death
I would recommend this to: fans of undercover work and scam artists that aren’t actually really good at their jobs.

I’m usually pretty good at remembering books, but the details of this book completely disappeared from my brain while I waited to write this summary after a week of putting it off. I actually had to go back to the Goodreads write up to remember the plot, and then I remembered that I was super annoyed with this book. Oops! This was an okay “thriller”, but there was a LOT going on with time jumping and aliases. The twists weren’t twisting very much and at the end I was like, “well, yeah. I mean, obviously…” Hahaha. Once again, I am obnoxiously giving a mediocre review to a book everyone loves. Welcome to my favorite past time!

Format: Audio
Rating: 3/5
I read it because: Friend Recommendation
Warnings: Murder (obviously)
I would recommend this to: fans of the genre “old people ignoring police”

Before I started my reading habit a couple years ago, I had no idea the amount of murder mysteries featuring nosey seniors solving crime. But hey, if it works for you, you have options! This one was entertaining but exhausting. There was a good narrator and fun twists at the end, but I just can’t get over the many plot lines I have read lately of the police being charmed by the elderly. No, they should not be on the case. I know I read books about dragons and sentient objects, but this is apparently what trips me up while suspending my disbelief. Dragons are awesome – Ethics violations are unacceptable. Hahahaha.

Format: Audio
Rating: 4/5
I read it because: Library Challenge: Classics
Warnings: Extremely dated and offensive language, murder
I would recommend this to: fans of the classics and people that want an entertaining audio book that makes them think in the cadence of “by golly them there doggonit fir sure you betcha”.

In hilarious news, I wanted to read this to prep for another book, James, that is on the popular lists right now. As it turns out, I read the wrong book. I was supposed to read The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Oh, well! To be honest, I only knew this story from a play when I was younger and watching Wishbone. It’s amazing how many scenes I remembered, but there were plenty of new (and offensive!) things to check out in this classic. Overall (other than the n word and insensitivities toward Native Americans and women), this was a charming read about a real impulsive little a$$hole. Tom Sawyer really sucked, but his adventures made for an entertaining time capsule into American literature.

Format: Physical
Rating: 3/5
I read it because: I had a book club with the husband!
Warnings: death and confusion
I would recommend this to: people who loved the movie Babe but wished it was more murder-y

What a weird and unique (ewe-nique?? I crack myself up.) little mystery. If you like the above mentioned “old people take it upon themselves to solve murder” genre, you might also like this “sheep take it upon themselves to solve murder” tale. Reading from multiple sheep perspectives was extremely cute and entertaining – but massively confusing. This book took a lot of work to figure out, and the pay off was not nearly as satisfying as I wanted it to be. However, if you are looking for a cozy mystery that would break you out of your current genre, this would do the trick.

Format: Audio
Rating: 1.75/5
I read it because: it was a tiebreaker book to see if Katherine Center was my jam (sorry, KC, we might be breaking up)
Warnings: Tons of trauma – miscarriage, child drowning, abandonment, alcoholism, divorce, suicide attempt – and more! And none of it is really even relevant to the main plot! Huzzah!
I would recommend this to: someone that needs a good pity party palooza

This was a slog of a book watching an insecure woman struggle. I should have quit this one too, but Ellie Kemper was the narrator so I gave it way too many chances and then it was over. Yay! The romantic storyline was paaaaaainful. It’s really hard to root for a couple where she thinks he’s gross/stupid/tooyoung for 30% of the book, she doubts how he feels for 40% of the book and can’t imagine him liking her like *that* (she was a 32 year old woman that acted 15), and then he’s not even in the book for the last 20% before they – poof – have a happily ever after. It was 100?% weird. This was my third Katherine Center book, and it might be my last (at least for a while). I like her writing, but I have closed three of her books going “yikes, those people should not be together. This is not going to work.” D’oh!

July’s Quit List: A new record! They weren’t all bad, but they just weren’t for me. And some were bad.

The blurb did not fully set up my expectations for this book and I had to call it by 17%. Tough love! But, you need to be in a very specific mood for extremely wordy 1800s magical tale with flowery prose. The premise was interesting, but the execution was so confusing. If the point of a curse was to kill off a family line by not allowing them to be in love – but the grandma had already found a loophole by making her own baby with magic – then what is the point of the curse anymore? Also: an extremely graphic midwife/miscarriage scene. There was a trigger warning on the first page, but I didn’t expect it to be that bad. It was bad. I’m out.

I did not expect a fantasy mystery to have this much heavy world building. Once again, it was a me problem. I tried. If you like the character of House (you know, the medical mystery doctor), you might love the quirky detective in this book. It’s pretty funny at times and the murder is intriguing, but it is dense. I needed something much lighter at the time. DNF @ 23%.

After going through two chapters of no plot except for introducing miserable characters, I finally called it when she compared a woman to “a rabbit on coke” and described the last box in the shipment truck “like a limp penis overpowered by pubic hair”. I’m out. DNF @ 9%.

This was a cute set up and there wasn’t anything really wrong with it. But after I thought I had been listening it for a super long time and noticed there was THIRTEEN hours left, I decided I wasn’t invested and didn’t have it in me to go on. Apparently it’s a murder mystery – but 90 minutes in and there was barely anything established without a sign of anyone dying anytime soon. DNF @ 11%.

I really tried to like this one, because her other book (The Helsinki Affair) was interesting. However, this one was painful and slow. The fictional president in this book was obviously comparable to a certain current presidential candidate – and since thinking about that former president brings me zero joy, DNF @ 26%. Life is too short.

I needed a memoir/biography for the library challenge, and this looked cute. It was. It just wasn’t for me. I definitely felt like my subcategory: elder millennial. DNF @ 7%.

That’s all for July. I’m in the middle of three quirky and interesting books right now, so the August blog is looking promising. Here’s hoping! If you have gotten this far and have advice for sneaking in a LIGHT AND FLUFFY “beach read”, please message me to add to my August reading list. I want an easy book where the leads don’t have to unpack anything. Give me emotionally healthy people having fun while they fall in looooove. Thanks!

Quick, someone check on Heidi. Give her a very easy-to-read HAPPY book for July. June was a hilariously off month in the adventures of reading. Covering several genres, the only thing connecting these books is that they were all super weird in their own way. Ratings wise, it was all middle of the pack. No 1s. No 5s. Almost all WEIRD.

So read this list (if you dare) and enjoy the roller coaster of (mediocre) reading from this month!

Audio: 7
Physical: 5
Mix: 2
Quit: 4

Format: Audio
Rating: 1.75/5
Genre: Fantasy
Warnings: Generally uncomfortable characters doing really odd things, I cannot fully explain how weird this book is
Why I read it: Library Challenge – A Book Being Turned Into a Movie
I’d recommend this to: people who want to say they have read Wicked.

I’ve read Wicked! This book was unfinished business for me, as I quit it in college for being massively weird. I thought, “Heidi, it couldn’t have been that bad. It inspired an amazing musical, for crying out loud!” Well, it was that bad. I almost quit it 7 more times, but the audio book and sheer will got me through this mountainous slog of a novel. Loose ends, miserable characters, and gobbledygook philosophic rantings plague this story. It’s……a lot. It’s not a total ONE rating, because it did bring me back to nostalgic times of seeing the musical and got the soundtrack stuck in my head. (Fans of the musical: remember the parts in the second act where you’re like “hmmmmm, this is getting really weird and specific about animal politics”……that’s pretty much the entire book.)

Format: Physical
Rating: 3/5
Genre: Mystery
Warnings: Dated terms for things that wouldn’t get past an editor today
Why I read it: (explained below) Library Challenge: Bottom of your TBR List
I’d recommend this to: Boomer Dads and fans of Dragnet or Knives Out

Out of all the reading goals and library challenges that I wanted to do this year, my #1 goal for 2024 was to read this book. 26 years ago, a service project turned into a lengthy adopted grandparent situation with an elderly friend named Donna. As a lovely gesture and a thank you, her brother (Lloyd Biggle, Jr.) sent me one of his books. I never got the chance to meet him or communicate further, but I appreciated this gift. However, this book has traveled and moved with me for over two decades and I never read it. DOH! That is, until this month. My history with the novel made it almost impossible to rate. However, it’s a solid who-dunnit with an entertaining (and humongous) cast of characters. It ends with a giant meeting and a Sherlock Holmes-esque finale of explanations. The publication of 1994 brings with it many dated phrases (common language back then but cringe-worthy now) and situations (this mystery could be solved in three pages if smart phones were present, but where’s the fun in that!?), but overall it’s an interesting mystery with a compelling setting.

Format: Mix of Audio (great narrator) and Physical (fun drawings!)
Rating: 3.25/5
Genre: Nonfiction/Humor/Science
Warnings: Intense Math
Why I read it: My husband enjoyed it and my son giggled while skimming it
I’d recommend this to: nerds and people who love nerds

I mean, what *would* happen if all the water from a storm came out in one big drop? What *are* the odds that the only two people left on earth would actually find each other?? This book is hilarious and fun and super nerdy. I can’t say that I understood or retained the vast majority of information presented in this book, but it was an entertaining read that could be taken in small doses, one chapter/question at a time. Just hand this book to someone trying to figure out the idiom “getting in the weeds”. This is a deep dive into silly science with excellent cartoons.

Format: Audio
Rating: 3.5/5
Genre: Fiction
Warnings: Abandoment/Attachment issues, Questionable talk of disabilities, Heidi actually has darker skin and black, curly hair – my cover of my Little Golden Book LIED, y’all!
Why I read it: It has an amazing title. (Also: Library Challenge “Classics” category)
I’d recommend this to: nature lovers and fans of traditional Christian hymns

In hilarious news, this book had the same narrator as Wicked. He has a very hypnotic, booming voice. Wait – am I a super fan of John McDonough?! I mean, he does seem like my type:

Anyway, I only had vague memories of the classic movie and Little Golden Book adaptation of Heidi, so why not pick up the classic. It was originally published in 1881 and let’s just say it has some real 1881 vibes. We’ve got super traditional Christianity piped into the fun elements of passing around an orphan. A lot of people depend on Heidi for their own happiness, and that seems like a big job for a five year old. Even though the entire 350+ page book could be summed up in about 3 pages, this is a lovely time machine to enjoy themes of forgiveness and community. Do I have a lot of questions about various characters and general plot lines? Sure. But let’s just take this book for what it is and enjoy the goats on a mountain.

Format: Audio
Rating: 3.75/5
Genre: Nonfiction
Warnings: Graphic medical trauma – especially around teeth and cancer
Why I read it: Library Challenge – Nonfiction
I’d recommend this to: fans of courtroom drama, medical mysteries, history of radium

This book was like a car accident that you couldn’t look away from. It was the horrific true story of women in watch factories using radium-infused paint that eventually caused their bodies to decay. Much like The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, this book tries to balance the science and legal issues of the story with the moral and emotional tales of the families involved. It showed company cover ups and scandals, along with how these women were able to change laws and eventually the culture of the workplace to have more robust safety procedures when dealing with hazardous chemicals. It was especially interested to hear how it affected the caution of scientists dealing with the weapon development of WWII. The highest praise is finishing a book and wanting to see what else the author has written – which I’ll be doing soon. But yes, it was weird and awful. HAPPY SUMMER BEACH READING!

Format: Physical
Rating: 3.5/5
Genre: Romance/Fantasy/Adventure
Warnings: Mythical creatures explicitly displaying a wide range of sexuality (that’s my classy way to talk about vampire sex), language/violence/piracy
Why I read it: You can’t read the first book in this series and not think “I’m a little scarred, but there’s more? Why not…”
I’d recommend this to: fans of the series Once Upon a Time but thought, “I wish this was raunchier”. Actually, wait. You did not hear about this book from me. I will deny it.

Sometimes you need to switch from religious classics to heavy cancer-ridden nonfiction to vampire lust on a pirate ship. It’s called BALANCE. In the junk food of reading, this is like the state fair Oreo – you’re intrigued, you question your life choices sometime in the middle, but you’re glad to have at least had the experience when it’s over. I actually liked this sequel more than the first book, as it included many more action sequences, and I knew what to expect from the author this time around. Let’s ditch the witch/pirate main characters from the original and go all in on a vampire/selkie romance. (Yes, I had to Google the mythological selkie. See? This is educational!) Is it fluffy ridiculousness? Yep. Will I probably read the third one? Hey, the occasional fried Oreo gives a good story to tell.

Format: Physical
Rating: 3.5/5
Genre: Biography & Fairy Tales
Warnings: Sudden beheadings and extremely random events
Why I read it: Library Challenge – Classics category
I’d recommend this to: lovers of short stories and hilariously weird fiction

I had always meant to read the original The Little Mermaid and The Snow Queen, so why not check off some classics mixed with some biographical flare. The translator is super hot for Andersen, with educational blurbs slathered in fan girl vibes. She is super into Hans. This collection features 13 of his original tales – and they are WEIRD. I kinda liked it. Who needs a moral or clear ending in your fairy tales? Not me! I had always heard how different the Disney version of The Little Mermaid was – and the ending is extremely different – but I actually saw more similarities than I expected! Whoever says Frozen was based off of The Snow Queen though…..highly debatable. Anyway, if you like main characters who die or meet tragic endings, Hans is your man. I enjoyed the stories and laughed out loud a few times. “The Tinderbox” was probably my favorite, because it was so messed up. Just make eye contact with the “dog” on the illustration for a few seconds and you’ll get the vibe of the whole collection.

Format: Audio
Rating: 2.75/5
Genre: Fiction
Warnings: Murder, Cancer treatments, the word “slough” used approximately 146,203 times
Why I read it: It was an “available now” audio book and the blurb seemed like something I would like
I’d recommend this to: readers wanting a murder mystery with no thrills at all, people who liked Vera Wong’s Unsolicited Guide to Murder but wished it was less charming

This was rated a “3” because I was so incredibly neutral about it. This murder mystery was the snooziest snoozefest. It wasn’t bad. It was just beyond boring. I didn’t care about the victim or anyone trying to solve the case. Every time I opened the audio book, I was shocked that I wasn’t farther along than the time bar claimed. I would have quit it, but it could have been worse and there wasn’t exactly anything wrong with it (other than the boredom).

Format: Audio
Rating: 3/5
Genre: Children’s Fiction
Warnings: Poaching, Sad Animals, Grief
Why I read it: Continuing the series
I’d recommend this to: fans of the series and animal lovers

I’m going to continue to read this series (there’s only one left), but the second and third book just didn’t capture the same magic as The One and Only Ivan. My biggest complaint about Bob’s perspective (the second book) was that it forced the characters together in a really weird tornado plot. This book, however, was almost all flashback about how Ruby (the elephant) was super traumatized in her journey from Africa to the roadside zoo. She doesn’t want to celebrate her tusks at “Tusk Day” with her new herd at the wildlife sanctuary because tusks are the reason her mother was dead. (AGAIN – HAPPY SUMMER FUN READING EVERYONE!!) Anyway, the storytelling and characters were better than Bob’s book, but I’m hoping the last book in the series can tie it all together.

Format: (Mostly) Audio/Physical Mix
Rating: 3.75/5
Genre: YA Fantasy
Warnings: Death/Grief, Massive Teen Angst
Why I read it: I kept seeing it around and picked it up for a whole 25 cents at a sale!
I’d recommend this to: fans of Lost or The Hunger Games (based on vibes only, not plot)

This is getting rounded up to a 4, because I’m desperate to say I liked a book this month. It’s been a weird June, friends. This is set in New York in the future, in a world where you get a phone call on the day that you die. (FUN, RIGHT!?) Two teens find each other through a friend app and live their last day together, tying up loose ends and awaiting their fate. One of the main characters oozes teen angst and anxiety – which are not my favorite traits to read – but the other lead is interesting. It picks up the pace in the second half of the book, weaving together several plot lines in a clever way. It’s very YA introspective and nauseating at points, but the consequences of knowing your “end day” make it an engaging read.

Format: Audio book (which seems like the obvious choice since he’s reading his stand up material)
Rating: 2.25/5
Genre: Nonfiction/Humor/Memoir
Warnings: Potential to make Millennials/Gen Xers feel elderly, language (a ridiculous amount of “goddamns”)
Why I read it: a desperate need to lighten up this month’s reading list (it didn’t work)
I’d recommend this to: people who enjoy the history of stand up comedy and are annoyed with anything and everything

Just like the John Stamos book, it’s always sad when a memoir or nonfiction book makes me like the person *less*. Ugh. There were intriguing and entertaining parts of this book, as it went through his material over the last 5 decades. However, it would be best in small doses, as the whole thing together turns hims from “fun observational comedian” to “old man ranting”. It just becomes really obnoxious and cynical, which was the exact vibe I was trying to break this month. D’oh!

Format: Audio
Rating: 3/5
Genre: Memoir
Warnings: Childhood/Religious/Birth Trauma, Sexual and Child Abuse
Why I read it: A quick & available audio book, curiosity
I’d recommend this to: fans of the show (maybe?)

This was a bit of an odd pick, as I never saw a single episode of any Dugger shows. But I’m always interested in a cult/extreme religion story, and it would be hard to be my age and not at least know the headlines of this family (this popularity is the point of a lot of her stories). This family was everywhere, and this is a peek behind the pretty confusing curtain. The first half of the book told of her background and how the show came to be, which I found interesting. But the “What I Did on My Summer Vacation” feel of the book’s writing did not combine well with the topics of the second half: birth trauma, parental/cultural confrontations, and legal battles. It got a bit repetitive and you could feel the constant battle of loyalty to the family and finding their own path. I have mixed feelings about this one.

Format: Physical
Rating: 3/5
Genre: Thriller/Mystery
Warnings: Language, Spy Violence/Tension, Infidelity
Why I read it: Book magazine recommendation, genre change-up
I’d recommend this to: women who went through a John Grisham phase in high school but wished the chicks did more of the problem solving

I could have rated this book higher, as it held my attention and kept me turning the pages. It was a spy novel/thriller that was easy to read with decent plot twists. However, there were times where the plot significantly slowed down, and I felt like the author was torn between the spy content and the family conflict content. The amazing potential of the female lead character was often overshadowed by the quirky colleague and the history of the father’s career. The plot ping-pongs around timelines, making for a more exciting ending – that ultimately fizzles to a shrug. (Trombone slide. That was harsh, because I did like it overall…)

Format: Physical
Rating: 3.5/5
Genre: Romance/Fantasy
Warnings: Death/Grief, language, brief “open door” scenes
Why I read it: I enjoyed The Seven Year Slip by this author
I’d recommend this to: women who grew up in the 90s and watched the movie Casper multiple times (although we all know thirteen year old Heidi was crushing on Bill Pullman instead of Devon Sawa)

This was an easy to read romance with a unique plot. But with that plot came many holes and (pretty predictable) twists. The author even acknowledges it with several “just don’t worry about it” moments. I was rooting for this book, but it just didn’t do it for me. I liked it over all, but there were so many loose ends or rushed plot points. It just became confusing and felt like there was both too much going on and something was missing at the same time. But you know what wasn’t missing? My favorite thing to giggle about in romance novels: the constant calling out of height differences. You guys. He was SO tall. (The details even included that it was a 5’2” and 6’3” spread this time around!)

The June Quit List:

Remember, fellow readers, it is okay to quit books that just aren’t meant for you. I was intrigued by the blurb of “hilarious stories by some of the top authors of middle grade fiction today” and the concept of kids having useless/minor superpowers (remember my fun YA bread book from last month?!). I thought it would be fun and quirky, but I was blasted with the latest from the hot button issue list: popularity/social media, LGBTQ+ identity questions, first generation immigration cultural struggles, and more! I’m fine with any of these topics for starting conversations in a book club – but when I was expecting witty superpowers and then got hit with “my family was racially targeted during the COVID-19 pandemic” (I know, hilarious stories, right!?), I gracefully bowed out. This was just not what I was looking for, and that’s okay. DNF @ 51%.

This book was choppy. Too choppy. Real choppy.
The blurb implied a “Six of Crows” vibe, but after being introduced to 3 of the 5 potential assassins, I didn’t care about anyone. And while I can usually accept most writing styles, the sentence fragments were driving me crazy. Too crazy. It was like the Whose Line is it Anyway film noir spoofs, which is probably not what the author intended. I just needed the music to kick in.

Anyway, I didn’t give this one a huge chance, but I’m getting pretty good and figuring out when a book isn’t going to do it for me. And life is short. Too short. DNF @ 9%.

As much as I say that I’m better at picking books, you can’t predict them all. This was really pretty on the library shelf, and I was looking for a new fantasy/sci-fi book. It seemed cheesy, but Red Tower Publishing pretty much means you are only reading for the fun vibes. So, why not? Well, I have reasons now. I’m so sad, because it was fun for the first 25% and I thought I could be one of those outliers to help out the 2.92 rating it was receiving on Goodreads. The circus psychic and the amnesiac mythical creature fall into insta-love. She decides to give up her entire life based on a premonition and breaks him out of circus jail to runaway and immediately……ahem…..do it. Look, I don’t mind raunchy scene if I like the characters and it advances the plot, but this one actually made me say “EW” out loud. That’s not good. I wanted them both to go to circus jail. DNF @ 35%.

A local librarian posted three book recommendations. I already liked two of the books, so why not try the third? Look. I don’t know why I adore and giggle at some romance books and quit other ones in disgust. It’s a fine line that I cannot yet identify. However, by chapter four, these horny ex-lovers get kidnapped, and I found myself rooting for the abductors. That’s my sign that this is not the book for me. But don’t worry, everybody. He was SO tall that he barely fit under a doorway. He was huge. Anyway, DNF @ 22%.

If you made it this far, please know that I appreciate you so much. This is fun for me, and I love that a handful of people get a real kick out of it every month. You’re the best.

It was a messy month of reading. May was a roller coaster of emotions, and it showed in my reading tastes and efforts. Remember no-quit-April? Well, that went out the window. Here we go!

Does anyone else who played a lot of The Sims between the years 2000-2006 still sometimes gauge interactions by imagining a + or – symbol above people’s heads? For example, a condescending librarian is not understanding when a book comes back with water damage and you think, “Chill out, lady. I initiated this report and am happy to pay for it. This is a solid -3 in our relationship, BARB.”

Well, whether you relate to this or think I’m insane, I can further explain how I rate books. Like Olympic gymnasts, there are possible points and automatic deductions. Don’t question me on this. The math does not check out and, in the end, it’s arbitrary. Here are some determining factors:

+1 if I laugh or snort out loud.
+1 if I cry (I actively avoid crying books, so it’s impressive if they can get me)
+.25 for a pretty cover
+.5 for each character I am genuinely rooting for
+1 if I can recommend it to other readers
+3 if I can recommend it to my mom
+1 if it makes me want to read another of the author’s books
+.25 if there is a map
+.25 for each time an author identifies how much taller the man is than the woman (because it makes me laugh and snort out loud)
+.5 for each use of the word “sinew/sinewy” (once you notice it, this word is everywhere and it makes me giggle)

-.25 for each use of the phrase “clicking his/her tongue”
-3 if at any point the female character questions if she is pretty enough for her partner
-.5 for a sudden or ambiguous ending
-2 pregnancy in the epilogue
-1 for over-the-top gore/violence/sex that doesn’t advance the plot
-.5 for each time an author is obviously going down a diversity checklist and stops the plot to condescendingly explain basic issues (pronouns, LGBTQ+ characters, race, etc.) ***Before I get canceled, let me clarify: I just want these issues to naturally appear instead of stopping the book for a lecture. Show me, don’t tell me.)
-.25 pregnancy or childbirth scene, extra points off for any kind of birth trauma
-.5 suckering me into crying over an animal

This is an ever evolving list. I would be fascinated to hear some of your biggest “EEK” turn-offs in books.

Let’s see how this month shaped up:
Audio – 6 (May did not afford much sitting, hahaha)
Physical – 3
Mix – 2
Quits: 5

Format: Mix of (mostly) audio and physical
Rating: 3/5
Genre: Children’s Fantasy
Warnings: General violence surrounding mythology
Why I read it: Continuing the series!
I’d recommend this to: upper elementary in need of a series

While I was swept away in the fun quest and friendship of the first Percy Jackson book, this one fell pretty flat. It felt like one of those sitcom recap shows where they show clips from the previous season. It was a mix of “I know this already!!” and “Wait – what’s happening?” Percy goes on another quest to save a friend – this time focusing around cyclops characters. It’s still a good time for the YA adventure of it all, but it was really just killing time until the cliffhanger to the third book. Unfortunately, it killed my motivation for continuing the series anytime soon.

Format: Mostly physical, with an audio finish
Rating: 4/5
Genre: YA Fantasy
Warnings: Exposure to a lot of sewer poop, mild violence & dead humans/animals
Why I read it: It was on a list of cozy fantasies – and look at that little angry cookie cover!
I’d recommend this to: teens (or adults!) in need of a light fantasy without committing to a series, fans of the Robin Hood vibe

A 14 year old wizard needs to save her community with magic – but her powers only work on bread. I mean, come one, that’s adorable. This was an easy and fun read with an entertaining cast. The back 30% gets a little long – the climatic battle becomes a bit of a chore, but overall I really enjoyed the writing and humor of this adventure.

Format: Physical
Rating: 4.25/5
Genre: Romance
Warnings: Mental health (anxiety, depression, manic episodes), abandonment/attachment issues, “open door” romance
Why I read it: New book from this author
I’d recommend this to: fans of her other books or fans of Emily Henry

Two back-to-back romantic genre books that I really enjoyed!? History in the making! I was sure that after loving Funny Story (Emily Henry), I’d be in a romance drought for a bit. However, this book gave moments where I actually laughed out loud and built a world where I wanted the book to keep going. In fact, that’s my main issue – the ending seemed really rushed and complicated. Just like the other book of hers that I read (Yours Truly), I fell in love with the characters and adored the first 70% of the book. Then it introduces a ton more conflict and wraps it up really fast. I never read the first one in the series (Part of Your World) but it makes cool connections to her other characters. I really enjoyed this one.

Format: Audio
Rating: 1/5
Genre: Mystery/Thriller
Warnings: Abuse, Infertility, Abortion, Grief/Death, Paranoia, Mental Health, Alcohol, and More!
Why I read it: I found it at a thrift store and had seen it multiple places. It was highly rated by Goodreads and a handful of my Goodreads friends (sorry, Friends!)
I’d recommend this to: people that delight in being tricked by magicians

Oof. This gets the rare and wonderful one star. Why wonderful? Because it means that this book made me angry. A book I greatly dislike gets a 2. A book where I’m livid that I finished it? One star, baby. I kept waiting and waiting and waiting and dragging myself through boring paranoia and jumping timelines and descriptions of abuse and meandering plots – WAITING for the ending that was going to blow me away. After all, the blurb on the back warns you that you should assume nothing! Well, apparently if you give that warning, you can just make anything up that doesn’t fit with the rest of the book at all. I think the authors read what they had so far, brainstormed a bunch of “twists”, took a tequila shot, gave the middle finger to the reader, and included them all. These twists don’t even make sense. The epilogue should not make me roll my eyes, and yet, my peepers rolled with the force of a teenage hormonal army.

Fun fact into my spaghetti brain: I wondered if I was making up the part where “peepers” was another way to say eyeballs (it is), but then it made me go on a deep dive into this frog: the Spring Peeper.

It’s time for Heidi to go to bed now. Don’t mind me!

Format: Audio
Rating: 3/5
Genre: Children’s, Animal Fantasy
Warnings: Animal cruelty (dogs)
Why I read it: Sequel to The One and Only Ivan
I’d recommend this to: Dog lovers and fans of the first book

The audio book was great, because it was voiced by Danny Devito – an excellent pick for Bob. Apparently, he also did the voice in the Disney+ Ivan movie, so I need to bump that up my viewing priority list. The plot of this one was a bit of a stretch and lacked the charm of the original. What could have been another simple, sweet story about Bob finding his sister turns into a rescue mission with zoo animals in the aftermath of a tornado. While I understand the need for an intense event to spice up the plot, it detracted from the simplicity of Bob. So, it was fine. A solid 3.

Format: Audio
Rating: 2/5
Genre: Fiction, Fantasy-ish
Warnings: Language, Drowning, Plague, Mental Health/Suicidal Thoughts
Why I read it: DMPL Challenge “Floral Cover” – For the record, the audio book cover has flowers on it! HA!
I’d recommend this to: Fans of The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue

I told myself that I would read the first available audio book that mildly interested me and had flowers on the cover for the library challenge category. Then I gave myself my own “substitute teacher appreciation day” by skipping school, popping in an audio book, and doing hours of yard work. Treat yourself. I did end up gobbling up this book in a day – and it was a roller coaster. I really loved the general premise (man has a medical condition that makes him age 1 year for every 10 in real life), but it read like if they took 5 books and just shuffled them together. The romance story line that was pitched on the back cover blurb absolutely disappeared from the 65% mark to the 97% mark. It hopped around in time and name dropped random historical figures and events – all while trying to figure out the motives of The Secret Society of Aging Mafia (at least, that’s what I called it). It was a weird puzzle of a book. Anyway, it was better than The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue (similar vibe), but not by much.

Format: Physical
Rating: 5/5
Genre: Fiction/Fantasy
Warnings: Sometimes crass/blunt
Why I read it: Read with Jenna Book Club
I’d recommend this to: Fans of Emily Henry, Kevin Wilson, and books where you can accept things that don’t make sense

Look, this is going to be a weird book that appeals to humor that is just a little on the quirky side. If you love my odd picks, you will love this book. If you love historical fiction and grumble at my terrible reviews of popular books, just skip it. This book is not for you. I first started giving “Read with Jenna” books a chance with Nothing to See Here by Kevin Wilson. You know, that book where kids spontaneously combust – but in a sweet and humorous way? So when I saw that it was April’s pick and the blurb made me chuckle, game on. Imagine the movie Groundhog Day meets It’s a Wonderful Life meets Sliding Doors meets Bridget Jones Diary. All you need to know is that there is a magical attic that has the ability to split out a new husband whenever the current one goes up the stairs. From page 2, I was baffled at how the author would write her way out of this massive plot problem. Suspend your disbelief, friends, and go for an adventure.

Format: Physical
Rating: 4/5
Genre: Science Fiction
Warnings: Graphic death by mammoth, poaching/violence
Why I read it: The Clive Library challenge had an “Under 100 pages” category. It was 98 pages.
I’d recommend this to: fans of Jurassic Park and readers with patience

I’ll admit that I like my sci-fi with a little silliness. And this was not silly. However, it was a baby step into harder science fiction and a very manageable 98 pages. The first few chapters were a struggle, as there was no explanation to the setting/characters/POV and it jumped around a lot. But once I finally got oriented to what was happening and invested myself in the plot, it was interesting! I could go on and on about this book, but I will assume that most of my friends have no interest in a book about a scientist’s consciousness getting downloaded into a recreated mammoth. Sooooooo…….moving on!

Format: Audio
Rating: 3/5
Genre: Childrens, Fantasy
Warnings: N/A
Why I read it: My fifth grader read it, and I don’t think I ever had!
I’d recommend this to: readers in need of a quick classic

I have extremely mixed feelings about this one. It’s charming and “classic” and feels like a trip back in time. However, I also have SO MANY QUESTIONS. Sure, that’s the point of making it a good book to discuss, but this book needs about 50 more pages to tie up a whole lot of loose ends. Don’t make me speculate about what happened during a 70 year time gap, Natalie Babbitt!! Ugh. I don’t want to use my imagination to fill in THAT much. It’s very much giving The Giver vibes – which would delight and intrigue many people, but I hated the ending to The Giver too (Heidi ducks as all educators everywhere chuck their reading group editions at my noggin.) I also have questions about a 17 year old that’s really a 104 year old that wants to make plans to marry a 10 year old. Let’s just not think about that too hard. It’s a CLASSIC.

Format: Audio
Rating: 3.75/5
Genre: Fiction
Warnings: Language, Drugs, Abortion, Infidelity
Why I read it: Going back for the audio book version after enjoying the book and mini series last year
I’d recommend this to: fans of documentary styles, throw back to 1970s vibes

This is an interesting one to rate. I first devoured this book (and gave it 5 stars) when I was at the height of rediscovering reading last year. I loved the documentary style and how it felt like it was a real band. When I watched the Amazon Prime series adaptation, I was so mad at how they portrayed some of the main relationships – but then after listening to the audio book, I was like – oh, oops – they were right. That actually made me be much more critical of the story and it didn’t have the original magic as the first read. However, the full cast and production made it a hypnotic listen and it was entertaining while I planted flowers. Ha!

Format: Audio
Rating: 1/5
Genre: Fiction
Warnings: Emotional abuse, toxic relationships
Why I read it: Clive Library Challenge – “A Book with Library in the Title”
I’d recommend this to: fans of The Bridges of Madison County

This book scored the coveted “One Star Due to Rage”. Hey, it made me feel something! A lot of things, actually. The author was just plain cruel to the only likable characters. The toxic characters had little to no remorse. The twists were so predictable that I groaned. It spent a large amount of time name-dropping other books and pop culture references. It checked off SEVERAL of my reading pet peeves mentioned above. This plot could have been so lovely and fun, but it was just slow and sad. I would have quit it multiple times – but I sped up the speed and checked off “A Book with Library in the Title”. D’oh!

And now, I will continue to be a literary curmudgeon. After a No-Quit-April, I could not get in the right mood and stalled out a few times. So now, I present: May’s Quit List

It’s me. Hi. I’m the problem, it’s me.
Look at that cover. oooOOoooooh. And I really thought this book would lean in to my past love of the Hunger Games series. However, the first couple of chapters seemed like an overwhelming Mad Libs of fantasy writing. I just didn’t have the bandwidth to learn about six unique worlds/cultures and the curses that went along with all of them. While a fight to the death on an island that appears once every 100 years is appealing, it was not the right time for me to take this particular book on. DNF @ 6%.

Since I really enjoyed A Wizard’s Guide to Defensive Baking, I wanted to try another Kingfisher book ASAP. The fairy tale vibes really intrigued me and I was drawn in by the main character’s quest – but some of the imagery was really dark/creepy and I called it when there were multiple pages of realistic and unpleasant childbirth scenes. (She becomes a temporary midwife in a village without modern medicine. That was the clear line that called it when I was on the fence.) DNF @ 16%.

Look at that cover! Gorgeous! This seemed like an interesting YA Sci-Fi. However, I really struggled with the first few chapters and was relieved when I gave myself permission to quit it. As much as a barren world of dystopian potato farming sounds fun, it was not. DNF @ 9%.

The blurb (credited to an author I like) said it was a mix of Finlay Donovan (a character I like) mixed with Emily Henry (another author I liked). Unfortunately, it did not work for me. It a mix of very casual writing (Disney channel vibe: “I bet you’re all wondering how I got into this mess, am I right?) and an extremely slow start. For being a CIA agent working undercover for the FBI, I was bored and did not care if the characters got together. OOPS. DNF @ 25%.

I tried. I really tried. After enjoying the more intense sci-fi of his short story (above), I thought I’d tackle Nayler’s novel about futuristic murderous octopuses. However, the world building and arrogant characters broke my brain and desire to move on. A lot of the ideas were really cool, but it was just too much and the slowest of starts. I skimmed some reviews and a reader of similar mindset gave up at 40% and claimed the humans had still not encountered the group of octopuses. I only lasted 12%. The best part about reading this book was that it sparked some research on my own. Fun facts: You can use octopuses or octopi, but my spell check will underline octopi. A group of octopuses is called a consortium. You’re welcome.

That’s it for now. May reading was somewhat of a dud – but watch out, world – it’s SUMMER BREAK! Let’s see what June has in store…