For the first time in 2024, I didn’t break into the double digits for my book count. Oops! It wasn’t the best month of reading (not much to see here), but I’m optimistic for October. I’m going to get back in the groove and pick some winners!? Here’s hoping!

Total Books:
Physical: 3
Audio: 4
Mix: 1
DNF: 1

Format: Audio
Genre: Thriller (slower psychological suspense)
Rating: 3/5
I read it because: time to switch up the genre & it was available
Warnings: general creepiness, teen pregnancy, death
I would recommend this to: readers wanting a thriller without being scared

This was an interesting book to break up the groove of my cheesy romance novels. A writer learns a story from a student and writes the novel after he learns of the student’s death – but then creepy messages start accusing him of plagiarism. (I just learned how to spell plagiarism!) The narrator created suspense and a relatable character, but it was pretty slow overall and I saw the twist from a mile away. It was interesting but mostly uncomfortable.

Format: Physical
Genre: YA Fiction
Rating: 2.75/5
I read it because: I loved the original Inheritance Games book
Warnings: death/suicide, puzzles, unfinished plot points.
I would recommend this to: fans of the series and puzzles

This series baffles me, as my star ratings went from 5 to 4 to 5 to DNF to 2.75?!? By quitting the 4th book, I obviously missed out on some set up to the fifth – but I used my context clues to pick up the story where it left off. Unfortunately, this book also disappointed me and couldn’t live up to the original trilogy. I committed to over 360 pages of puzzles and escape rooms for a cliffhanger and nothing but frustration. I might have to call it quits on this series.

Format: Audio
Genre: Humor/Fantasy
Rating: 3/5
I read it because: I was intrigued by a card in a Barnes & Noble.
Warnings: Evil Villain Violence
I would recommend this to: fans of the Apprentice to the Villain books

For the third book in a row, I give the rating of, “Eh, it was fine.” The premise of this book was SO MUCH FUN. A guy wakes up without memories in a castle and figures out that he’s actually an evil villain. The main cast of characters is very entertaining but it gets really bogged down in the second half and is overly complicated. However, there are some good chuckles woven throughout the story and it was a fun narrator.

Format: Audio
Genre: Fiction
Rating: 2.25/5
I read it because: I enjoyed Thank You for Listening by the same author/narrator
Warnings: Cancer, Grief/Loss, the only tolerable characters fall out of the book never to be seen again
I would recommend this to: people that want to remember that feeling of being in college and ignoring relationship red flags. See: “I Want Crazy” by Hunter Hayes

Book blurbs should not give away major plot points, but they should also not bait-and-switch the reader. What I thought was going to be a fun romance turned into annoying characters trauma dumping for hours. I was actively rooting for these characters to break up. Oops.

Format: Physical
Genre: Fantasy
Rating: 3.25/5
I read it because: I loved the characters and world of the first book.
Warnings: Adoption, Child Abuse, Beyond blatant woke-splaining of Racism, LGBTQ+ rights, Illegal Immigration, Fascist Government, Stealing Indigenous Land, Book Banning and so much more!
I would recommend this to: fans of the Delores Umbridge storyline of Harry Potter (which is hysterical, because the author uses the acknowledgement section to rip apart JK Rowling)

I know I shouldn’t get my hopes up for sequels. I know it. But sometimes I can’t help it – I loved the characters of the first book SO much. The world and the characters stayed charming and the writing is excellent Klune – brilliant imagery and easy to read. However, the book does not trust the reader, and it reads like a liberal lecture. It’s like, “Hey, I know I was pretty clear in my fantasy metaphors, but DO YOU GET IT!? HERE IS WHAT I MEAN BY IT.” Yes, we got it. But Chauncey is still my favorite.

Format: Physical
Genre: Nonfiction
Rating: 4/5
I read it because: I enjoy the Holderness family, genre switch up, friend recommendation
Warnings: All things ADHD (obviously)
I would recommend this to: Anyone who has, suspects they have, or loves someone who has ADHD

With plenty of disclaimers that this is not a medical book, the Holderness Family shares their experiences with ADHD. Challenges are presented in an optimistic way and provides overviews of the diagnosis. It makes a great introduction to the topic and approaches mental health with humor and compassion.

Format: Mix of Audio/Physical
Genre: Fantasy
Rating: 4/5
I read it because: My husband has been talked about Terry Pratchett for yeeeeeears.
Warnings: N/A
I would recommend this to: fans of British humor and words

My husband is a big fan of the Discworld series, so I finally took a recommendation from it. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t this – ha! Set in a fantasy world that mirrors ours but it also very much not ours, a conman must chose between death or running the post office. I mean, that’s pretty funny. A ridiculous cast of characters and a sometimes overcomplicated plot can make this confusing at times. However, if you just enjoy the ride, it’s an entertaining book with some lol moments.

Format: Audio
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Rating: 3.5/5
I read it because: Needed a quick read and light genre. I wanted to give Christina Lauren a second chance after DNFing another book.
Warnings: Toxic Family Relationships, Raunchy Relations
I would recommend this to: fans of Crazy Rich Asians and Ali Hazelwood romance reads

It takes a LOT for me to overlook certain tropes in romance novels, but for some reason this audio book caught me in the right mood and fulfilled the need to shut off my brain and enjoy a rom-com. It’s a grumpy/sunshine, fake marriage, one bed, forced proximity love fest with some graphic doin’ it and a few swears. The humor and ridiculousness kept me engaged, and I enjoy a “hot mess” main lead that has enough confidence to power through a book where it could have easily gone the route of “I’m such a commoner – why would he even *like* like me?” The main characters were likable enough to root for them, even though it dragged a little in the back 40%.

Septembers Quit List:

In my quest to break the pretty-cover-sprayed-edge curse, I really gave this one a chance. It was a dystopian mix of Hunger Games and Avatar – cool, right? But at 37%, I just couldn’t take it any more. It was so boring and overly complicated. The main character had to fight in seven competitions, but I made it through the first one and completely lost interest. It was marketed along the romantasy genre, but it was sci-fi in the most draining way. Plus, she was a suicidal fighter with a traumatic past and didn’t want anyone to touch her. So that was confusing.

That’s it for September – a month that went shockingly fast. Happy Fall Reading!

Seriously, 2024. The end of August? What is happening….

It was a busy month of wrapping up summer activities and diving back into school. We’re one week into the new academic year, and I’m still not ready. This month completed my Goodreads challenge of 100 books for 2024 (any format counts!), so I am officially a nerd.

Total Books: 12
Physical: 5
Audio: 4
Mix: 3
DNF: 4

Two of August’s books cracked the top 10 for the year (including a new favorite!) And one of them slipped into the bottom 10 – d’oh. It’s called balance. Happy reading!

Format: Physical/Audio Mix
Genre: Sci-Fi/Romantasy
Rating: 1.75/5
I read it because: It was pretty and I wanted a sci-fi/fantasy.
Warnings: Very graphic “open door” scenes (and not in a good way, bwahaha), language, violence
I would recommend this to: women that were Team Edward in 2008 and readers that like it when eyes darken

Vampires and warlocks and werewolfs, oh my! And oh, how I wanted to like this one. It was so pretty! A Beauty and the Beast retelling?? Yay!? But oh, how it was not good. The beginning and the premise were awesome – but then it got overly complicated and the romance was gross. Apparently, I’m not into bad boy immature warlocks and a 475 year age gap. That’s a me problem. I kept going out of sheer hope that it would get better, but it just got more confusing and ended with a cliffhanger. This was a very ambitious book (mixing a million monsters and lore together), and it was too much for me.

Format: Physical
Genre: Nonfiction
Rating: 3.25/5
I read it because: I need hope in this election year.
Warnings: All things politics
I would recommend this to: people that need hope in the election year.

I saw this book on Instagram and thought I’d try it out. It wasn’t perfect and went on a few tangents, but it was a refreshing read to take a break from the extremes in politics. It emphasized giving people the benefit of the doubt, embracing nuance in complicated issues, and seeing the humanity in people – especially those you disagree with. It made way too much sense.

Format: Audio
Genre: Poem/Memoir/Short Stories
Rating: 3.25/5
I read it because: Jenny Slate is delightfully weird.
Warnings: This book is so weird.
I would recommend this to: adults that sometimes talk to themselves

This book is fantastic word art but should be consumed in small doses. I cannot describe this book of poems and essays other than it is peak Jenny Slate. She is a whole vibe.

Format: Physical
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Rating: 4.25/5
I read it because: it was on a “you might also like” reading list.
Warnings: the disclaimer page cautions about dyslexia (that’s a new warning for me!), parental neglect, and to clutch your pearls during chapter 34.
I would recommend this to: Romcom fans of second chance romances and – gasp – only one bed!

With serious Abby Jimenez vibes, this story was “obnoxiously cute” – which is how the main character is described throughout most of the book. College exes find each other again and have to mix business with their pining. Humorous banter and sidekick characters helped me overlook any cliches and moments of cringe in this lovely little romance. It was a book I kept wanting to pick up again to finish – which is always a good sign.

Format: Audio
Genre: Middle Grade Fiction
Rating: 3.75/5
I read it because: I saw it in a 6th grade classroom.
Warnings: bullying, middle school feelings
I would recommend this to: 5th/6th graders

This book was able to overcome my lackluster feelings about realistic middle grade novels. It had a diverse cast of characters without plodding through a diversity checklist. It had friendship/crush feelings without inducing nausea. It was sweet and clever with light suspense. It was a very pleasant surprise.

Format: Physical/Audio Mix (Great Narrator!)
Genre: Sci-fi/Fantasy
Rating: 5/5
I read it because: I heard it was a delight on the “cozy fantasy” list.
Warnings: Mild Pirate-based Violence
I would recommend this to: fans of the movie The Princess Bride

For months, I have been telling my husband “I just need a fun, innocent quest with some good sidekicks”. This. Was. It.
Now, it’s not going to be for everybody, as there is a lot of world building and plot that is a bit of a riddle. However, this was a quirky and cute tale that made me want to hug the book. It was clever and charming and I gobbled it up. A girl who loves cups, a quest with found family, pirates, word play, young love, a cursed narrator. My favorite book of the year so far.

Format: Physical
Genre: YA Fiction
Rating: 3.25/5
I read it because: Sequel to The Prince and the Apocalypse
Warnings: plane crash w/injuries, stranded without diabetic supplies, angst
I would recommend this to: fans that need closure from the first book

The sequel continued to be just as over-the-top as the first one, but this is a quick (SUPER FAST) read with decent action sequences and the characters were more charming this time around. If you don’t mind horrendous pouting/communication styles and a few plot points thrown in just for shock value before getting ignored forever, this edition was cute closure for the story. But please stretch your face prior to reading to prepare for the eye rolls ahead.

**This is my second book this year with “I’m stranded on an island and one of the characters is diabetic.” This plot point was so unnecessary. Broken legs, gashed arms, and an erupting volcano was enough drama.

Format: Audio (a must do if you are interested in this one!!)
Genre: Memoir
Rating: 3/5
I read it because: Library Challenge – Auto/Biography
Warnings: Childhood Trauma, Late-diagnosed Dyslexia
I would recommend this to: TV historians and lovers of celebrity memoir

This was adorable and sweet. If you’re interested, I highly recommend the audio book, as he has excellent story telling and his wife of 45+ years reads her perspective on some of the events. The parts where he talked about his life and behind the scenes of his career were very interesting. Unfortunately, sometimes the name dropping and repetitiveness weighed down the book. However, it included great lessons on perseverance and self-growth.

Format: Physical
Genre: Nonfiction
Rating: 4/5
I read it because: I got lost in the hobbies nonfiction section
Warnings: N/A
I would recommend this to: writers that need a coach like Tim Gunn on their shoulder (make it fabulous! Now, time to edit, designers!!)

This was a quick and easy book to encourage writers and give practical tips to draft and revise your work. I appreciated the tips, blah, blah, blah – Here’s my promise to you. If you have actually clicked on this blog, and actually read this far, and didn’t even skip the paragraph about the non-fiction book, and are interested in why I actually read this book, and take the time to message me, I will tell you what I’m dabbling with. Are you brave enough to ask and make me brave enough to tell you about it? Let’s see! Now I’m going to hide that part in more boring words so I can only let you – the devoted reader – feel special about discovering my new hobby. Prose and structure and revision are tools discussed in this easy-to-follow and practical guide.

Format: Audio
Genre: Memoir
Rating: 4.5/5
I read it because: I’ve been meaning to read it forever. It also finished my library challenge.
Warnings: Apartheid/racism, violence, domestic abuse, language
I would recommend this to: Americans that need to zoom out

As I checked out the book, the librarian said, “Oh! This is so good. You HAVE to listen to the audio version.” So, I did – and she was right. Between the African languages and impactful storytelling, listening to Trevor Noah’s book was the correct choice. While uncomfortable, it was informative and emotional and interesting. Now I really want to know how he wound up going from those childhood stories to hosting The Daily Show, because hearing about his life in South Africa was incredible.

Format: Physical
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Rating: 4.25/5
I read it because: I wanted to give Carley Fortune another chance (and I’m glad I did!)
Warnings: It’s raunchy. Stressed friendships and parent/child dynamics, grief/loss
I would recommend this to: fans of Emily Henry or Abby Jimenez and ladies that think oyster shucking is hot

This book helped me break a pet peeve: we time jumped every three chapters and I wasn’t mad about it! Amazing! It was very similar to Happy Place in the way it was told, but I liked these characters better. This book was well on its way to a 5 star romance, but if I had to hear about the three moles on her collar bone one more time……or the fleck of color in his eyes or his teacup birthmark. Stop talking about her moles. (Hey, you can’t please everybody. Maybe some people really want to hear about moles. Maybe I just don’t like the word “moles”.) Anyway, it was way more fun than the other book of hers that I read, and Prince Edward Island was an interesting setting. There were a lot of references to other books – so I’ll need to check out some of the characters’ recommendations.

Format: Audio
Genre: Nonfiction
Rating: 4/5
I read it because: Friend recommendation
Warnings: 2020 references, depression
I would recommend this to: adults that need baby steps to be productive

This isn’t going to be for everyone, but I felt personally called out for the vast majority of this book. If you get overwhelmed with basic tasks, fall to negative self talk, or have an all-or-nothing personality, this is encouraging. If you have an organized brain and find it easy to initiate tasks, this book will sound nuts. It’s just laundry – not a sign of personal failure.

Format: Physical/Audio Mix
Genre: Children’s Fantasy
Rating: 4.25/5
I read it because: I’ve been meaning to read this series forever, and I found the set at a book sale.
Warnings: Peril, bugs, rats, and battles with bugs and rats
I would recommend this to: middle grade students in need of adventure

Before she became the author of The Hunger Games series, Suzanne Collins wrote this series for a younger demographic. Honestly, I don’t know what took me so long to read these books, because they are fun and suspenseful quests. It’s Alice in Wonderland meets Harry Potter meets the Nutcracker meets City of Ember meets Percy Jackson. There are prophecies and battles and quests and friendships and a crazy cast of characters. If you are a fan of adventure in the middle grade genre, this is a solid bet.

August’s Quit List

Some memoirs that include trauma can be a gripping journey where readers are put at ease while battling horrible topics. Gracie Gold has quite the story, but the presentation was uncomfortable. I was forcing myself to read it because of the library challenge, but I realized that I was not the best audience for it. DNF @ 10%.

I was a social studies minor. I love historical topics. So WHY can’t I get into historical fiction!?! This book was chosen after a trip to Galena, Illinois. Galena is amped up on the Grants. We toured the house, and the family was interesting. But after reading the first chapter and carrying this book around the house for three days without opening it again, I realized that I should follow my own rule of quitting books that don’t spark interest and return it to the library.

This is the perfect example of how the romance genre is hilarious. Even though I previously enjoyed this author and gave a very similar book (above) a four star rating, I couldn’t finish this one. Tropes and cliches are rampant in romance – and if it doesn’t work for you, the book is doomed. I could not overcome my personal dealbreaker: “He’s so hot! I know we are best friends and he’s giving me every signal ever, but he could never *like* like me…..did I mention he was also tall?” followed by horrendous miscommunication. Also, it was an audio book where the male narrator sounded like a surfer dude. I couldn’t take it. DNF @ 32%.

This one makes me so sad to DNF. I can’t pinpoint why this didn’t work for me. On paper, it’s everything I could want in a “cozy fantasy”, but I just couldn’t get into it. I felt like I was reading forever and only three pages were completed. I even switched to an audio book assist, but it was taking forever. When it feels like a chore, put it away. DNF @ 37%. So sad.

My pace is slowing down a bit as 2024 enters its final months, and that’s okay. Thanks for following along on my reading journey!

Whew. July’s reading momentum hit a major roadblock at the beginning of the month. I got hit with a nasty flu-version of Covid that took me out of commission for about 6 days. At the beginning, it was the kind of sick where even an audiobook was overstimulating. I couldn’t get out of the brain fog enough to comprehend a paragraph at a time. Yowsa. But I’m happy to report that I got back on track big time! And while I started out with more “fun” books, I fell back into weirdo/murder books. I need to continue my quest to lighten up!!

I also broke this year’s record for the most quits in a month. Life is too short, friends. Enjoy your books!

Audio: 5
Physical: 7
Mix: —
Quit: 6

Format: Physical
Rating: 4/5
I read it because: I needed an easy read to come out of a sickness-induced reading slump.
Warnings: Language, partial 2020 Covid setting, Brief open door scenes and some graphic sexting. Whoopsie doopsie.
I would recommend this to: fans of classic romcoms

The characters had a lot of baggage to unpack and were pretty annoying. However, this is a fast read with entertaining banter (I’m a sucker for flirting via email). It’s a second chance grumpy(her)/sunshine(him) romance, and does that thing where the book uses romance tropes while explaining romance tropes during the narration. After all, the main character is a rom-com screenplay writer, because of course she is. The plot spans a bet over the course of 5 years with a lot of will-they-won’t-they and it was a decently paced rom-com to binge in the last day of my sickness marathon and break the reading slump.

Format: Physical
Rating: 3.75/5
I read it because: husband recommendation
Warnings: animal death, uncomfy family tension
I would recommend this to: readers that really wanted to like Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine and A Man Called Ove but hated both of those books. This book is similar vibes but way better.

This was one of the more unique books I’ve read this year and will not be for everybody. It starts out as simple and charming with a neurodivergent main character trying to solve a pet murder, but then it gets really uncomfortable. I mean, it’s a pet murder mystery that takes a turn to complicated family relationships. However, it was intriguing enough that I also devoured this one in a day (I was still pretty sick, guys. Reading was about all I could do for a couple of days.)

Format: Physical
Rating: 4.5/5
I read it because: I enjoyed her other books
Warnings: language, brief but graphic open door scenes, grief/loss
I would recommend this to: fans of small town Hallmark movies or the TV series Schmigadoon.

I think this makes me an official Ashley Poston fan? I’m also a fan of mixing a typical romance book with any kind of sci-fi element – and she has written three very creative takes on the genre. She’ll be an automatic add to the TBR list for me in the future. This time, the main character gets lost and winds up in the fictional town of her favorite romance series. It’s cute and adorable with some clever twists and nods to her other books. It was even cuter after just reading The Dead Romantics last month. I could be really picky about some things that I didn’t like, but I refuse. It was adorable: the end.

Format: Audio
Rating: 2.5/5
I read it because: it looked cute!
Warnings: Cancer, teen angst
I would recommend this to: middle grade readers that need a next step after the books mentioned below…

This is the book if The One and Only Ivan mixed with The Wild Robot. However, it wasn’t as good as either of those. D’oh! Overall, this was a solid middle grade book with themes of family and science and perseverance. However, a lot of it was disjointed. Giving a Mars rover the inner dialogue of a young child was tiresome after a bit. Beeps and boops. The other perspective was told over the span of 17 years through one-sided pen pal letters written to the robot from a scientist’s daughter. This built in all the angst of a coming of age tale mixed with exploring Mars? It didn’t really do it for me, but that’s okay.

Format: Physical
Rating: 4.5/5
I read it because: I wanted to give Ruth Ware another try.
Warnings: Gruesome injuries, Diabetic complications, Storms, Drowning, Emotional and Physical Abuse, and more!
I would recommend this to: fans of reality dating shows and murder?

It had been a while since I enjoyed the writing of a thriller. I thought Ware’s Zero Days was decent, but I didn’t love the overall plot. Once again, I could pick this one apart, but I’m feeling generous with my stars in July after such a stinker month of June. This one was tense with good suspense and twists, if you can stomach all the ick that getting stranded on an island. It kept me up past my bedtime and made every sound in the house spook me…..so five stars for the page turning aspect alone!

Format: Physical
Rating: 2.25/5
I read it because: I liked The Bodyguard by Katherine Center
Warnings: Grief, Death of a parent, Near-drowning, Cancer, traumatic brain injury, absolutely horrendous communication styes
I would recommend this to: readers that need a fast book and toxic characters

Oh my. On one hand, I could read this book like a movie, it had funny parts, and it was a super fast page-turner. On the other hand, if you stop to think about the main characters too hard, you will hate them. He’s a jerk, she plays games, and they both are in need of lots of trauma informed therapy. Heidi’s generous ratings streak is over. I’m mad.

Format: Physical
Rating: 3/5
I read it because: The author was quoted on the back of The House in the Cerulean Sea
Warnings: Gore/murder, estranged family
I would recommend this to: readers wanting Alice in Wonderland to have gore?

The premise was phenomenal: what happens to the kids that fall through magical portals once they come home? This book answers that question by providing a home for children that get labeled as crazy or are desperate to return to their magical land. However, this amazingly weird found family story starts in a very interesting way and then suddenly morphs into a serial killer murder mystery with super gore? What. Just. Happened.

Format: Audio
Rating:3/5
I read it because: it’s on all the trendy lists right now
Warnings: Lying, car accidents/death
I would recommend this to: fans of undercover work and scam artists that aren’t actually really good at their jobs.

I’m usually pretty good at remembering books, but the details of this book completely disappeared from my brain while I waited to write this summary after a week of putting it off. I actually had to go back to the Goodreads write up to remember the plot, and then I remembered that I was super annoyed with this book. Oops! This was an okay “thriller”, but there was a LOT going on with time jumping and aliases. The twists weren’t twisting very much and at the end I was like, “well, yeah. I mean, obviously…” Hahaha. Once again, I am obnoxiously giving a mediocre review to a book everyone loves. Welcome to my favorite past time!

Format: Audio
Rating: 3/5
I read it because: Friend Recommendation
Warnings: Murder (obviously)
I would recommend this to: fans of the genre “old people ignoring police”

Before I started my reading habit a couple years ago, I had no idea the amount of murder mysteries featuring nosey seniors solving crime. But hey, if it works for you, you have options! This one was entertaining but exhausting. There was a good narrator and fun twists at the end, but I just can’t get over the many plot lines I have read lately of the police being charmed by the elderly. No, they should not be on the case. I know I read books about dragons and sentient objects, but this is apparently what trips me up while suspending my disbelief. Dragons are awesome – Ethics violations are unacceptable. Hahahaha.

Format: Audio
Rating: 4/5
I read it because: Library Challenge: Classics
Warnings: Extremely dated and offensive language, murder
I would recommend this to: fans of the classics and people that want an entertaining audio book that makes them think in the cadence of “by golly them there doggonit fir sure you betcha”.

In hilarious news, I wanted to read this to prep for another book, James, that is on the popular lists right now. As it turns out, I read the wrong book. I was supposed to read The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Oh, well! To be honest, I only knew this story from a play when I was younger and watching Wishbone. It’s amazing how many scenes I remembered, but there were plenty of new (and offensive!) things to check out in this classic. Overall (other than the n word and insensitivities toward Native Americans and women), this was a charming read about a real impulsive little a$$hole. Tom Sawyer really sucked, but his adventures made for an entertaining time capsule into American literature.

Format: Physical
Rating: 3/5
I read it because: I had a book club with the husband!
Warnings: death and confusion
I would recommend this to: people who loved the movie Babe but wished it was more murder-y

What a weird and unique (ewe-nique?? I crack myself up.) little mystery. If you like the above mentioned “old people take it upon themselves to solve murder” genre, you might also like this “sheep take it upon themselves to solve murder” tale. Reading from multiple sheep perspectives was extremely cute and entertaining – but massively confusing. This book took a lot of work to figure out, and the pay off was not nearly as satisfying as I wanted it to be. However, if you are looking for a cozy mystery that would break you out of your current genre, this would do the trick.

Format: Audio
Rating: 1.75/5
I read it because: it was a tiebreaker book to see if Katherine Center was my jam (sorry, KC, we might be breaking up)
Warnings: Tons of trauma – miscarriage, child drowning, abandonment, alcoholism, divorce, suicide attempt – and more! And none of it is really even relevant to the main plot! Huzzah!
I would recommend this to: someone that needs a good pity party palooza

This was a slog of a book watching an insecure woman struggle. I should have quit this one too, but Ellie Kemper was the narrator so I gave it way too many chances and then it was over. Yay! The romantic storyline was paaaaaainful. It’s really hard to root for a couple where she thinks he’s gross/stupid/tooyoung for 30% of the book, she doubts how he feels for 40% of the book and can’t imagine him liking her like *that* (she was a 32 year old woman that acted 15), and then he’s not even in the book for the last 20% before they – poof – have a happily ever after. It was 100?% weird. This was my third Katherine Center book, and it might be my last (at least for a while). I like her writing, but I have closed three of her books going “yikes, those people should not be together. This is not going to work.” D’oh!

July’s Quit List: A new record! They weren’t all bad, but they just weren’t for me. And some were bad.

The blurb did not fully set up my expectations for this book and I had to call it by 17%. Tough love! But, you need to be in a very specific mood for extremely wordy 1800s magical tale with flowery prose. The premise was interesting, but the execution was so confusing. If the point of a curse was to kill off a family line by not allowing them to be in love – but the grandma had already found a loophole by making her own baby with magic – then what is the point of the curse anymore? Also: an extremely graphic midwife/miscarriage scene. There was a trigger warning on the first page, but I didn’t expect it to be that bad. It was bad. I’m out.

I did not expect a fantasy mystery to have this much heavy world building. Once again, it was a me problem. I tried. If you like the character of House (you know, the medical mystery doctor), you might love the quirky detective in this book. It’s pretty funny at times and the murder is intriguing, but it is dense. I needed something much lighter at the time. DNF @ 23%.

After going through two chapters of no plot except for introducing miserable characters, I finally called it when she compared a woman to “a rabbit on coke” and described the last box in the shipment truck “like a limp penis overpowered by pubic hair”. I’m out. DNF @ 9%.

This was a cute set up and there wasn’t anything really wrong with it. But after I thought I had been listening it for a super long time and noticed there was THIRTEEN hours left, I decided I wasn’t invested and didn’t have it in me to go on. Apparently it’s a murder mystery – but 90 minutes in and there was barely anything established without a sign of anyone dying anytime soon. DNF @ 11%.

I really tried to like this one, because her other book (The Helsinki Affair) was interesting. However, this one was painful and slow. The fictional president in this book was obviously comparable to a certain current presidential candidate – and since thinking about that former president brings me zero joy, DNF @ 26%. Life is too short.

I needed a memoir/biography for the library challenge, and this looked cute. It was. It just wasn’t for me. I definitely felt like my subcategory: elder millennial. DNF @ 7%.

That’s all for July. I’m in the middle of three quirky and interesting books right now, so the August blog is looking promising. Here’s hoping! If you have gotten this far and have advice for sneaking in a LIGHT AND FLUFFY “beach read”, please message me to add to my August reading list. I want an easy book where the leads don’t have to unpack anything. Give me emotionally healthy people having fun while they fall in looooove. Thanks!

Quick, someone check on Heidi. Give her a very easy-to-read HAPPY book for July. June was a hilariously off month in the adventures of reading. Covering several genres, the only thing connecting these books is that they were all super weird in their own way. Ratings wise, it was all middle of the pack. No 1s. No 5s. Almost all WEIRD.

So read this list (if you dare) and enjoy the roller coaster of (mediocre) reading from this month!

Audio: 7
Physical: 5
Mix: 2
Quit: 4

Format: Audio
Rating: 1.75/5
Genre: Fantasy
Warnings: Generally uncomfortable characters doing really odd things, I cannot fully explain how weird this book is
Why I read it: Library Challenge – A Book Being Turned Into a Movie
I’d recommend this to: people who want to say they have read Wicked.

I’ve read Wicked! This book was unfinished business for me, as I quit it in college for being massively weird. I thought, “Heidi, it couldn’t have been that bad. It inspired an amazing musical, for crying out loud!” Well, it was that bad. I almost quit it 7 more times, but the audio book and sheer will got me through this mountainous slog of a novel. Loose ends, miserable characters, and gobbledygook philosophic rantings plague this story. It’s……a lot. It’s not a total ONE rating, because it did bring me back to nostalgic times of seeing the musical and got the soundtrack stuck in my head. (Fans of the musical: remember the parts in the second act where you’re like “hmmmmm, this is getting really weird and specific about animal politics”……that’s pretty much the entire book.)

Format: Physical
Rating: 3/5
Genre: Mystery
Warnings: Dated terms for things that wouldn’t get past an editor today
Why I read it: (explained below) Library Challenge: Bottom of your TBR List
I’d recommend this to: Boomer Dads and fans of Dragnet or Knives Out

Out of all the reading goals and library challenges that I wanted to do this year, my #1 goal for 2024 was to read this book. 26 years ago, a service project turned into a lengthy adopted grandparent situation with an elderly friend named Donna. As a lovely gesture and a thank you, her brother (Lloyd Biggle, Jr.) sent me one of his books. I never got the chance to meet him or communicate further, but I appreciated this gift. However, this book has traveled and moved with me for over two decades and I never read it. DOH! That is, until this month. My history with the novel made it almost impossible to rate. However, it’s a solid who-dunnit with an entertaining (and humongous) cast of characters. It ends with a giant meeting and a Sherlock Holmes-esque finale of explanations. The publication of 1994 brings with it many dated phrases (common language back then but cringe-worthy now) and situations (this mystery could be solved in three pages if smart phones were present, but where’s the fun in that!?), but overall it’s an interesting mystery with a compelling setting.

Format: Mix of Audio (great narrator) and Physical (fun drawings!)
Rating: 3.25/5
Genre: Nonfiction/Humor/Science
Warnings: Intense Math
Why I read it: My husband enjoyed it and my son giggled while skimming it
I’d recommend this to: nerds and people who love nerds

I mean, what *would* happen if all the water from a storm came out in one big drop? What *are* the odds that the only two people left on earth would actually find each other?? This book is hilarious and fun and super nerdy. I can’t say that I understood or retained the vast majority of information presented in this book, but it was an entertaining read that could be taken in small doses, one chapter/question at a time. Just hand this book to someone trying to figure out the idiom “getting in the weeds”. This is a deep dive into silly science with excellent cartoons.

Format: Audio
Rating: 3.5/5
Genre: Fiction
Warnings: Abandoment/Attachment issues, Questionable talk of disabilities, Heidi actually has darker skin and black, curly hair – my cover of my Little Golden Book LIED, y’all!
Why I read it: It has an amazing title. (Also: Library Challenge “Classics” category)
I’d recommend this to: nature lovers and fans of traditional Christian hymns

In hilarious news, this book had the same narrator as Wicked. He has a very hypnotic, booming voice. Wait – am I a super fan of John McDonough?! I mean, he does seem like my type:

Anyway, I only had vague memories of the classic movie and Little Golden Book adaptation of Heidi, so why not pick up the classic. It was originally published in 1881 and let’s just say it has some real 1881 vibes. We’ve got super traditional Christianity piped into the fun elements of passing around an orphan. A lot of people depend on Heidi for their own happiness, and that seems like a big job for a five year old. Even though the entire 350+ page book could be summed up in about 3 pages, this is a lovely time machine to enjoy themes of forgiveness and community. Do I have a lot of questions about various characters and general plot lines? Sure. But let’s just take this book for what it is and enjoy the goats on a mountain.

Format: Audio
Rating: 3.75/5
Genre: Nonfiction
Warnings: Graphic medical trauma – especially around teeth and cancer
Why I read it: Library Challenge – Nonfiction
I’d recommend this to: fans of courtroom drama, medical mysteries, history of radium

This book was like a car accident that you couldn’t look away from. It was the horrific true story of women in watch factories using radium-infused paint that eventually caused their bodies to decay. Much like The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, this book tries to balance the science and legal issues of the story with the moral and emotional tales of the families involved. It showed company cover ups and scandals, along with how these women were able to change laws and eventually the culture of the workplace to have more robust safety procedures when dealing with hazardous chemicals. It was especially interested to hear how it affected the caution of scientists dealing with the weapon development of WWII. The highest praise is finishing a book and wanting to see what else the author has written – which I’ll be doing soon. But yes, it was weird and awful. HAPPY SUMMER BEACH READING!

Format: Physical
Rating: 3.5/5
Genre: Romance/Fantasy/Adventure
Warnings: Mythical creatures explicitly displaying a wide range of sexuality (that’s my classy way to talk about vampire sex), language/violence/piracy
Why I read it: You can’t read the first book in this series and not think “I’m a little scarred, but there’s more? Why not…”
I’d recommend this to: fans of the series Once Upon a Time but thought, “I wish this was raunchier”. Actually, wait. You did not hear about this book from me. I will deny it.

Sometimes you need to switch from religious classics to heavy cancer-ridden nonfiction to vampire lust on a pirate ship. It’s called BALANCE. In the junk food of reading, this is like the state fair Oreo – you’re intrigued, you question your life choices sometime in the middle, but you’re glad to have at least had the experience when it’s over. I actually liked this sequel more than the first book, as it included many more action sequences, and I knew what to expect from the author this time around. Let’s ditch the witch/pirate main characters from the original and go all in on a vampire/selkie romance. (Yes, I had to Google the mythological selkie. See? This is educational!) Is it fluffy ridiculousness? Yep. Will I probably read the third one? Hey, the occasional fried Oreo gives a good story to tell.

Format: Physical
Rating: 3.5/5
Genre: Biography & Fairy Tales
Warnings: Sudden beheadings and extremely random events
Why I read it: Library Challenge – Classics category
I’d recommend this to: lovers of short stories and hilariously weird fiction

I had always meant to read the original The Little Mermaid and The Snow Queen, so why not check off some classics mixed with some biographical flare. The translator is super hot for Andersen, with educational blurbs slathered in fan girl vibes. She is super into Hans. This collection features 13 of his original tales – and they are WEIRD. I kinda liked it. Who needs a moral or clear ending in your fairy tales? Not me! I had always heard how different the Disney version of The Little Mermaid was – and the ending is extremely different – but I actually saw more similarities than I expected! Whoever says Frozen was based off of The Snow Queen though…..highly debatable. Anyway, if you like main characters who die or meet tragic endings, Hans is your man. I enjoyed the stories and laughed out loud a few times. “The Tinderbox” was probably my favorite, because it was so messed up. Just make eye contact with the “dog” on the illustration for a few seconds and you’ll get the vibe of the whole collection.

Format: Audio
Rating: 2.75/5
Genre: Fiction
Warnings: Murder, Cancer treatments, the word “slough” used approximately 146,203 times
Why I read it: It was an “available now” audio book and the blurb seemed like something I would like
I’d recommend this to: readers wanting a murder mystery with no thrills at all, people who liked Vera Wong’s Unsolicited Guide to Murder but wished it was less charming

This was rated a “3” because I was so incredibly neutral about it. This murder mystery was the snooziest snoozefest. It wasn’t bad. It was just beyond boring. I didn’t care about the victim or anyone trying to solve the case. Every time I opened the audio book, I was shocked that I wasn’t farther along than the time bar claimed. I would have quit it, but it could have been worse and there wasn’t exactly anything wrong with it (other than the boredom).

Format: Audio
Rating: 3/5
Genre: Children’s Fiction
Warnings: Poaching, Sad Animals, Grief
Why I read it: Continuing the series
I’d recommend this to: fans of the series and animal lovers

I’m going to continue to read this series (there’s only one left), but the second and third book just didn’t capture the same magic as The One and Only Ivan. My biggest complaint about Bob’s perspective (the second book) was that it forced the characters together in a really weird tornado plot. This book, however, was almost all flashback about how Ruby (the elephant) was super traumatized in her journey from Africa to the roadside zoo. She doesn’t want to celebrate her tusks at “Tusk Day” with her new herd at the wildlife sanctuary because tusks are the reason her mother was dead. (AGAIN – HAPPY SUMMER FUN READING EVERYONE!!) Anyway, the storytelling and characters were better than Bob’s book, but I’m hoping the last book in the series can tie it all together.

Format: (Mostly) Audio/Physical Mix
Rating: 3.75/5
Genre: YA Fantasy
Warnings: Death/Grief, Massive Teen Angst
Why I read it: I kept seeing it around and picked it up for a whole 25 cents at a sale!
I’d recommend this to: fans of Lost or The Hunger Games (based on vibes only, not plot)

This is getting rounded up to a 4, because I’m desperate to say I liked a book this month. It’s been a weird June, friends. This is set in New York in the future, in a world where you get a phone call on the day that you die. (FUN, RIGHT!?) Two teens find each other through a friend app and live their last day together, tying up loose ends and awaiting their fate. One of the main characters oozes teen angst and anxiety – which are not my favorite traits to read – but the other lead is interesting. It picks up the pace in the second half of the book, weaving together several plot lines in a clever way. It’s very YA introspective and nauseating at points, but the consequences of knowing your “end day” make it an engaging read.

Format: Audio book (which seems like the obvious choice since he’s reading his stand up material)
Rating: 2.25/5
Genre: Nonfiction/Humor/Memoir
Warnings: Potential to make Millennials/Gen Xers feel elderly, language (a ridiculous amount of “goddamns”)
Why I read it: a desperate need to lighten up this month’s reading list (it didn’t work)
I’d recommend this to: people who enjoy the history of stand up comedy and are annoyed with anything and everything

Just like the John Stamos book, it’s always sad when a memoir or nonfiction book makes me like the person *less*. Ugh. There were intriguing and entertaining parts of this book, as it went through his material over the last 5 decades. However, it would be best in small doses, as the whole thing together turns hims from “fun observational comedian” to “old man ranting”. It just becomes really obnoxious and cynical, which was the exact vibe I was trying to break this month. D’oh!

Format: Audio
Rating: 3/5
Genre: Memoir
Warnings: Childhood/Religious/Birth Trauma, Sexual and Child Abuse
Why I read it: A quick & available audio book, curiosity
I’d recommend this to: fans of the show (maybe?)

This was a bit of an odd pick, as I never saw a single episode of any Dugger shows. But I’m always interested in a cult/extreme religion story, and it would be hard to be my age and not at least know the headlines of this family (this popularity is the point of a lot of her stories). This family was everywhere, and this is a peek behind the pretty confusing curtain. The first half of the book told of her background and how the show came to be, which I found interesting. But the “What I Did on My Summer Vacation” feel of the book’s writing did not combine well with the topics of the second half: birth trauma, parental/cultural confrontations, and legal battles. It got a bit repetitive and you could feel the constant battle of loyalty to the family and finding their own path. I have mixed feelings about this one.

Format: Physical
Rating: 3/5
Genre: Thriller/Mystery
Warnings: Language, Spy Violence/Tension, Infidelity
Why I read it: Book magazine recommendation, genre change-up
I’d recommend this to: women who went through a John Grisham phase in high school but wished the chicks did more of the problem solving

I could have rated this book higher, as it held my attention and kept me turning the pages. It was a spy novel/thriller that was easy to read with decent plot twists. However, there were times where the plot significantly slowed down, and I felt like the author was torn between the spy content and the family conflict content. The amazing potential of the female lead character was often overshadowed by the quirky colleague and the history of the father’s career. The plot ping-pongs around timelines, making for a more exciting ending – that ultimately fizzles to a shrug. (Trombone slide. That was harsh, because I did like it overall…)

Format: Physical
Rating: 3.5/5
Genre: Romance/Fantasy
Warnings: Death/Grief, language, brief “open door” scenes
Why I read it: I enjoyed The Seven Year Slip by this author
I’d recommend this to: women who grew up in the 90s and watched the movie Casper multiple times (although we all know thirteen year old Heidi was crushing on Bill Pullman instead of Devon Sawa)

This was an easy to read romance with a unique plot. But with that plot came many holes and (pretty predictable) twists. The author even acknowledges it with several “just don’t worry about it” moments. I was rooting for this book, but it just didn’t do it for me. I liked it over all, but there were so many loose ends or rushed plot points. It just became confusing and felt like there was both too much going on and something was missing at the same time. But you know what wasn’t missing? My favorite thing to giggle about in romance novels: the constant calling out of height differences. You guys. He was SO tall. (The details even included that it was a 5’2” and 6’3” spread this time around!)

The June Quit List:

Remember, fellow readers, it is okay to quit books that just aren’t meant for you. I was intrigued by the blurb of “hilarious stories by some of the top authors of middle grade fiction today” and the concept of kids having useless/minor superpowers (remember my fun YA bread book from last month?!). I thought it would be fun and quirky, but I was blasted with the latest from the hot button issue list: popularity/social media, LGBTQ+ identity questions, first generation immigration cultural struggles, and more! I’m fine with any of these topics for starting conversations in a book club – but when I was expecting witty superpowers and then got hit with “my family was racially targeted during the COVID-19 pandemic” (I know, hilarious stories, right!?), I gracefully bowed out. This was just not what I was looking for, and that’s okay. DNF @ 51%.

This book was choppy. Too choppy. Real choppy.
The blurb implied a “Six of Crows” vibe, but after being introduced to 3 of the 5 potential assassins, I didn’t care about anyone. And while I can usually accept most writing styles, the sentence fragments were driving me crazy. Too crazy. It was like the Whose Line is it Anyway film noir spoofs, which is probably not what the author intended. I just needed the music to kick in.

Anyway, I didn’t give this one a huge chance, but I’m getting pretty good and figuring out when a book isn’t going to do it for me. And life is short. Too short. DNF @ 9%.

As much as I say that I’m better at picking books, you can’t predict them all. This was really pretty on the library shelf, and I was looking for a new fantasy/sci-fi book. It seemed cheesy, but Red Tower Publishing pretty much means you are only reading for the fun vibes. So, why not? Well, I have reasons now. I’m so sad, because it was fun for the first 25% and I thought I could be one of those outliers to help out the 2.92 rating it was receiving on Goodreads. The circus psychic and the amnesiac mythical creature fall into insta-love. She decides to give up her entire life based on a premonition and breaks him out of circus jail to runaway and immediately……ahem…..do it. Look, I don’t mind raunchy scene if I like the characters and it advances the plot, but this one actually made me say “EW” out loud. That’s not good. I wanted them both to go to circus jail. DNF @ 35%.

A local librarian posted three book recommendations. I already liked two of the books, so why not try the third? Look. I don’t know why I adore and giggle at some romance books and quit other ones in disgust. It’s a fine line that I cannot yet identify. However, by chapter four, these horny ex-lovers get kidnapped, and I found myself rooting for the abductors. That’s my sign that this is not the book for me. But don’t worry, everybody. He was SO tall that he barely fit under a doorway. He was huge. Anyway, DNF @ 22%.

If you made it this far, please know that I appreciate you so much. This is fun for me, and I love that a handful of people get a real kick out of it every month. You’re the best.

It was a messy month of reading. May was a roller coaster of emotions, and it showed in my reading tastes and efforts. Remember no-quit-April? Well, that went out the window. Here we go!

Does anyone else who played a lot of The Sims between the years 2000-2006 still sometimes gauge interactions by imagining a + or – symbol above people’s heads? For example, a condescending librarian is not understanding when a book comes back with water damage and you think, “Chill out, lady. I initiated this report and am happy to pay for it. This is a solid -3 in our relationship, BARB.”

Well, whether you relate to this or think I’m insane, I can further explain how I rate books. Like Olympic gymnasts, there are possible points and automatic deductions. Don’t question me on this. The math does not check out and, in the end, it’s arbitrary. Here are some determining factors:

+1 if I laugh or snort out loud.
+1 if I cry (I actively avoid crying books, so it’s impressive if they can get me)
+.25 for a pretty cover
+.5 for each character I am genuinely rooting for
+1 if I can recommend it to other readers
+3 if I can recommend it to my mom
+1 if it makes me want to read another of the author’s books
+.25 if there is a map
+.25 for each time an author identifies how much taller the man is than the woman (because it makes me laugh and snort out loud)
+.5 for each use of the word “sinew/sinewy” (once you notice it, this word is everywhere and it makes me giggle)

-.25 for each use of the phrase “clicking his/her tongue”
-3 if at any point the female character questions if she is pretty enough for her partner
-.5 for a sudden or ambiguous ending
-2 pregnancy in the epilogue
-1 for over-the-top gore/violence/sex that doesn’t advance the plot
-.5 for each time an author is obviously going down a diversity checklist and stops the plot to condescendingly explain basic issues (pronouns, LGBTQ+ characters, race, etc.) ***Before I get canceled, let me clarify: I just want these issues to naturally appear instead of stopping the book for a lecture. Show me, don’t tell me.)
-.25 pregnancy or childbirth scene, extra points off for any kind of birth trauma
-.5 suckering me into crying over an animal

This is an ever evolving list. I would be fascinated to hear some of your biggest “EEK” turn-offs in books.

Let’s see how this month shaped up:
Audio – 6 (May did not afford much sitting, hahaha)
Physical – 3
Mix – 2
Quits: 5

Format: Mix of (mostly) audio and physical
Rating: 3/5
Genre: Children’s Fantasy
Warnings: General violence surrounding mythology
Why I read it: Continuing the series!
I’d recommend this to: upper elementary in need of a series

While I was swept away in the fun quest and friendship of the first Percy Jackson book, this one fell pretty flat. It felt like one of those sitcom recap shows where they show clips from the previous season. It was a mix of “I know this already!!” and “Wait – what’s happening?” Percy goes on another quest to save a friend – this time focusing around cyclops characters. It’s still a good time for the YA adventure of it all, but it was really just killing time until the cliffhanger to the third book. Unfortunately, it killed my motivation for continuing the series anytime soon.

Format: Mostly physical, with an audio finish
Rating: 4/5
Genre: YA Fantasy
Warnings: Exposure to a lot of sewer poop, mild violence & dead humans/animals
Why I read it: It was on a list of cozy fantasies – and look at that little angry cookie cover!
I’d recommend this to: teens (or adults!) in need of a light fantasy without committing to a series, fans of the Robin Hood vibe

A 14 year old wizard needs to save her community with magic – but her powers only work on bread. I mean, come one, that’s adorable. This was an easy and fun read with an entertaining cast. The back 30% gets a little long – the climatic battle becomes a bit of a chore, but overall I really enjoyed the writing and humor of this adventure.

Format: Physical
Rating: 4.25/5
Genre: Romance
Warnings: Mental health (anxiety, depression, manic episodes), abandonment/attachment issues, “open door” romance
Why I read it: New book from this author
I’d recommend this to: fans of her other books or fans of Emily Henry

Two back-to-back romantic genre books that I really enjoyed!? History in the making! I was sure that after loving Funny Story (Emily Henry), I’d be in a romance drought for a bit. However, this book gave moments where I actually laughed out loud and built a world where I wanted the book to keep going. In fact, that’s my main issue – the ending seemed really rushed and complicated. Just like the other book of hers that I read (Yours Truly), I fell in love with the characters and adored the first 70% of the book. Then it introduces a ton more conflict and wraps it up really fast. I never read the first one in the series (Part of Your World) but it makes cool connections to her other characters. I really enjoyed this one.

Format: Audio
Rating: 1/5
Genre: Mystery/Thriller
Warnings: Abuse, Infertility, Abortion, Grief/Death, Paranoia, Mental Health, Alcohol, and More!
Why I read it: I found it at a thrift store and had seen it multiple places. It was highly rated by Goodreads and a handful of my Goodreads friends (sorry, Friends!)
I’d recommend this to: people that delight in being tricked by magicians

Oof. This gets the rare and wonderful one star. Why wonderful? Because it means that this book made me angry. A book I greatly dislike gets a 2. A book where I’m livid that I finished it? One star, baby. I kept waiting and waiting and waiting and dragging myself through boring paranoia and jumping timelines and descriptions of abuse and meandering plots – WAITING for the ending that was going to blow me away. After all, the blurb on the back warns you that you should assume nothing! Well, apparently if you give that warning, you can just make anything up that doesn’t fit with the rest of the book at all. I think the authors read what they had so far, brainstormed a bunch of “twists”, took a tequila shot, gave the middle finger to the reader, and included them all. These twists don’t even make sense. The epilogue should not make me roll my eyes, and yet, my peepers rolled with the force of a teenage hormonal army.

Fun fact into my spaghetti brain: I wondered if I was making up the part where “peepers” was another way to say eyeballs (it is), but then it made me go on a deep dive into this frog: the Spring Peeper.

It’s time for Heidi to go to bed now. Don’t mind me!

Format: Audio
Rating: 3/5
Genre: Children’s, Animal Fantasy
Warnings: Animal cruelty (dogs)
Why I read it: Sequel to The One and Only Ivan
I’d recommend this to: Dog lovers and fans of the first book

The audio book was great, because it was voiced by Danny Devito – an excellent pick for Bob. Apparently, he also did the voice in the Disney+ Ivan movie, so I need to bump that up my viewing priority list. The plot of this one was a bit of a stretch and lacked the charm of the original. What could have been another simple, sweet story about Bob finding his sister turns into a rescue mission with zoo animals in the aftermath of a tornado. While I understand the need for an intense event to spice up the plot, it detracted from the simplicity of Bob. So, it was fine. A solid 3.

Format: Audio
Rating: 2/5
Genre: Fiction, Fantasy-ish
Warnings: Language, Drowning, Plague, Mental Health/Suicidal Thoughts
Why I read it: DMPL Challenge “Floral Cover” – For the record, the audio book cover has flowers on it! HA!
I’d recommend this to: Fans of The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue

I told myself that I would read the first available audio book that mildly interested me and had flowers on the cover for the library challenge category. Then I gave myself my own “substitute teacher appreciation day” by skipping school, popping in an audio book, and doing hours of yard work. Treat yourself. I did end up gobbling up this book in a day – and it was a roller coaster. I really loved the general premise (man has a medical condition that makes him age 1 year for every 10 in real life), but it read like if they took 5 books and just shuffled them together. The romance story line that was pitched on the back cover blurb absolutely disappeared from the 65% mark to the 97% mark. It hopped around in time and name dropped random historical figures and events – all while trying to figure out the motives of The Secret Society of Aging Mafia (at least, that’s what I called it). It was a weird puzzle of a book. Anyway, it was better than The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue (similar vibe), but not by much.

Format: Physical
Rating: 5/5
Genre: Fiction/Fantasy
Warnings: Sometimes crass/blunt
Why I read it: Read with Jenna Book Club
I’d recommend this to: Fans of Emily Henry, Kevin Wilson, and books where you can accept things that don’t make sense

Look, this is going to be a weird book that appeals to humor that is just a little on the quirky side. If you love my odd picks, you will love this book. If you love historical fiction and grumble at my terrible reviews of popular books, just skip it. This book is not for you. I first started giving “Read with Jenna” books a chance with Nothing to See Here by Kevin Wilson. You know, that book where kids spontaneously combust – but in a sweet and humorous way? So when I saw that it was April’s pick and the blurb made me chuckle, game on. Imagine the movie Groundhog Day meets It’s a Wonderful Life meets Sliding Doors meets Bridget Jones Diary. All you need to know is that there is a magical attic that has the ability to split out a new husband whenever the current one goes up the stairs. From page 2, I was baffled at how the author would write her way out of this massive plot problem. Suspend your disbelief, friends, and go for an adventure.

Format: Physical
Rating: 4/5
Genre: Science Fiction
Warnings: Graphic death by mammoth, poaching/violence
Why I read it: The Clive Library challenge had an “Under 100 pages” category. It was 98 pages.
I’d recommend this to: fans of Jurassic Park and readers with patience

I’ll admit that I like my sci-fi with a little silliness. And this was not silly. However, it was a baby step into harder science fiction and a very manageable 98 pages. The first few chapters were a struggle, as there was no explanation to the setting/characters/POV and it jumped around a lot. But once I finally got oriented to what was happening and invested myself in the plot, it was interesting! I could go on and on about this book, but I will assume that most of my friends have no interest in a book about a scientist’s consciousness getting downloaded into a recreated mammoth. Sooooooo…….moving on!

Format: Audio
Rating: 3/5
Genre: Childrens, Fantasy
Warnings: N/A
Why I read it: My fifth grader read it, and I don’t think I ever had!
I’d recommend this to: readers in need of a quick classic

I have extremely mixed feelings about this one. It’s charming and “classic” and feels like a trip back in time. However, I also have SO MANY QUESTIONS. Sure, that’s the point of making it a good book to discuss, but this book needs about 50 more pages to tie up a whole lot of loose ends. Don’t make me speculate about what happened during a 70 year time gap, Natalie Babbitt!! Ugh. I don’t want to use my imagination to fill in THAT much. It’s very much giving The Giver vibes – which would delight and intrigue many people, but I hated the ending to The Giver too (Heidi ducks as all educators everywhere chuck their reading group editions at my noggin.) I also have questions about a 17 year old that’s really a 104 year old that wants to make plans to marry a 10 year old. Let’s just not think about that too hard. It’s a CLASSIC.

Format: Audio
Rating: 3.75/5
Genre: Fiction
Warnings: Language, Drugs, Abortion, Infidelity
Why I read it: Going back for the audio book version after enjoying the book and mini series last year
I’d recommend this to: fans of documentary styles, throw back to 1970s vibes

This is an interesting one to rate. I first devoured this book (and gave it 5 stars) when I was at the height of rediscovering reading last year. I loved the documentary style and how it felt like it was a real band. When I watched the Amazon Prime series adaptation, I was so mad at how they portrayed some of the main relationships – but then after listening to the audio book, I was like – oh, oops – they were right. That actually made me be much more critical of the story and it didn’t have the original magic as the first read. However, the full cast and production made it a hypnotic listen and it was entertaining while I planted flowers. Ha!

Format: Audio
Rating: 1/5
Genre: Fiction
Warnings: Emotional abuse, toxic relationships
Why I read it: Clive Library Challenge – “A Book with Library in the Title”
I’d recommend this to: fans of The Bridges of Madison County

This book scored the coveted “One Star Due to Rage”. Hey, it made me feel something! A lot of things, actually. The author was just plain cruel to the only likable characters. The toxic characters had little to no remorse. The twists were so predictable that I groaned. It spent a large amount of time name-dropping other books and pop culture references. It checked off SEVERAL of my reading pet peeves mentioned above. This plot could have been so lovely and fun, but it was just slow and sad. I would have quit it multiple times – but I sped up the speed and checked off “A Book with Library in the Title”. D’oh!

And now, I will continue to be a literary curmudgeon. After a No-Quit-April, I could not get in the right mood and stalled out a few times. So now, I present: May’s Quit List

It’s me. Hi. I’m the problem, it’s me.
Look at that cover. oooOOoooooh. And I really thought this book would lean in to my past love of the Hunger Games series. However, the first couple of chapters seemed like an overwhelming Mad Libs of fantasy writing. I just didn’t have the bandwidth to learn about six unique worlds/cultures and the curses that went along with all of them. While a fight to the death on an island that appears once every 100 years is appealing, it was not the right time for me to take this particular book on. DNF @ 6%.

Since I really enjoyed A Wizard’s Guide to Defensive Baking, I wanted to try another Kingfisher book ASAP. The fairy tale vibes really intrigued me and I was drawn in by the main character’s quest – but some of the imagery was really dark/creepy and I called it when there were multiple pages of realistic and unpleasant childbirth scenes. (She becomes a temporary midwife in a village without modern medicine. That was the clear line that called it when I was on the fence.) DNF @ 16%.

Look at that cover! Gorgeous! This seemed like an interesting YA Sci-Fi. However, I really struggled with the first few chapters and was relieved when I gave myself permission to quit it. As much as a barren world of dystopian potato farming sounds fun, it was not. DNF @ 9%.

The blurb (credited to an author I like) said it was a mix of Finlay Donovan (a character I like) mixed with Emily Henry (another author I liked). Unfortunately, it did not work for me. It a mix of very casual writing (Disney channel vibe: “I bet you’re all wondering how I got into this mess, am I right?) and an extremely slow start. For being a CIA agent working undercover for the FBI, I was bored and did not care if the characters got together. OOPS. DNF @ 25%.

I tried. I really tried. After enjoying the more intense sci-fi of his short story (above), I thought I’d tackle Nayler’s novel about futuristic murderous octopuses. However, the world building and arrogant characters broke my brain and desire to move on. A lot of the ideas were really cool, but it was just too much and the slowest of starts. I skimmed some reviews and a reader of similar mindset gave up at 40% and claimed the humans had still not encountered the group of octopuses. I only lasted 12%. The best part about reading this book was that it sparked some research on my own. Fun facts: You can use octopuses or octopi, but my spell check will underline octopi. A group of octopuses is called a consortium. You’re welcome.

That’s it for now. May reading was somewhat of a dud – but watch out, world – it’s SUMMER BREAK! Let’s see what June has in store…

WOW! It was a NO QUIT April! That’s right, I started what I finished this month….with only minor regrets, haha.

It had been a while since I immersed myself into thrillers, so I started out the month with bleak and miserable characters. D’oh! Then I over-corrected with some plain, silly fun that was ridiculous – making April a wide range of reading.

The April Report:
Audio – 3
Physical – 4
Mix Audio/Physical – 7 (Seriously, it’s the only way I can keep momentum….the ability to keep the story going on a walk or in the car is amazing. Libby and Hoopla for the win!)

Format: Audio
Rating: 4.25/5
Genre: Thriller/Mystery
Warnings: Domestic violence, mentions of pedophilia, maximum creepiness
Why I read it: It was on all the lists.
I’d recommend this to: fans of true crime podcasts

Well, thanks, Lisa Jewell, now I can’t sleep. I hadn’t read a good thriller in a while, and my Goodreads friends kept rating it 4-5 stars. Fine, I’ll bite. It did live up to the hype – and I was very impressed by the audiobook, as physically reading this would have been a completely different experience. Excerpts of this book were recorded as an actual podcast format with a complete cast and sound effects. It made it very addictive and captivating. Other than the phrase of the character’s “stomach curdling” over and over, I enjoyed the writing and twists until the end. I can’t describe it well – so just read it if you want to be very unsettled. Hooray!

Format: Audio & Physical
Rating: 2.25/5
Genre: Sci-Fi
Warnings: Language, Young Adult Angst
Why I read it: I liked the first book.
I’d recommend this to: someone who liked the first book but has low expectations for a sequel

I delighted by the first part of this book. It explored the POVs of all the sidekick friends (who were honestly the best part of the original novel). However, the book was about 157 pages longer than it needed to be and was soooooo preachy. I understand that the social media obsessed Gen Z characters would have a lot to say about the state of humanity and big corporations and technology, but it was pretty heavy handed and obnoxious – even when I agreed with them.

Format: Audio
Rating: 1.75/5
Genre: Thriller
Warnings: Mental health, murder, violence, domestic abuse, language
Why I read it: It was everywhere and I was curious.
I’d recommend this to: someone who disagrees with most of my reviews

Honestly, I read this because I was sick of seeing this cover on every must-read list and store bookshelf. Curiosity got the best of me. The hype might have tainted my overall view of the book, though, because when I got to the giant-twist-climax, I just sighed and said, “well that’s annoying….” OOPS. I might have also made a mistake listening to back-to-back thriller audio books that featured heavy British accents and depressing material.

Format: Audio w/a physical assist for pictures
Rating:3.75/5
Genre: Memoir, Humor
Warnings: N/A
Why I read it: My April reading needed to lighten up!!
I’d recommend this to: fans of Mindy Kaling/The Mindy Project

I might have read this when it came out in the middle 2010s, but it was fun to listen to the audio book. Mindy Kaling wrote this while making The Mindy Project, so it was fun to reminisce about that series, etc. She tells fun stories and random thoughts. I would absolutely love a book with updated takes now that she’s a mom and produces other projects.

Format: Physical
Rating: 3.25/5
Genre: Sci-Fi
Warnings: Pandemic, Violence, Claustrophobia
Why I read it: Friend recommendation
I’d recommend this to: Law & Order fans that want a sci-fi twist

After saying I enjoyed the most recent John Scalzi books, a friend recommended this one. I’m learning that Scalzi has really lightened up in his writing, as this one was much more serious. However, it still had some humor and the writing I enjoyed with his other books. If you have a phobia of getting trapped inside your body but still having full mental capacity, well, steer clear. It’s a good murder mystery – but it gets a little lost with a mega cast and body/robot swapping.

Format: Audio/Physical
Rating: 3.25/5
Genre: Fiction
Warnings: Grief, Climate Change
Why I read it: I loved her writing in Tanner & Louise
I’d recommend this to: fans of podcasts, quirky characters, and mediocre endings

I loved this book, then I hated it, and then I liked it.
A reporter travels to a small island community and discovers that the entire town is playing along with the notion that a dead man is actually alive for the sake of his widow. It starts out so charming, but then it takes a turn where the characters just become regular, stupid humans and deal with regular, stupid problems. It was fine but I wanted to change the back 35% of the book.

Format: Mix of Physical/Audio
Rating: 4.25/5
Genre: Fantasy, Humor
Warnings: Casual chats about severed heads, etc., discussion of assault
Why I read it: It kept popping up on my recommendation lists & I had pure curiosity.
I’d recommend this to: someone who doesn’t take themselves too seriously.

Big, dumb fun. That’s all I can say. This book knows exactly what it is – a cheesy adventure. Evie finds herself working for the town’s bad guy, but he’s also super hot. That’s all you need to know. Along the way, there are funny side characters and a bit of a mystery. This book is actually quite mild in the romance scenes – but it sets its reader up for (what I’m assuming will be) a much steamier book two.

Format: Audio
Rating: 3/5
Genre: Sci-Fiction leaning very YA
Warnings: Space War, Space Politics, Teen Angst
Why I read it: Friend Recommendation and enjoyment of other Scalzi books this year
I’d recommend this to: Teens wanting a gateway book to adult science fiction

Do you look at this cover and think, “Wow, this is going to be a very light book about teenage angst on another planet??” Yeah, me neither. When bonding with a friend about discovering John Scalzi this year, she recommended this book. Apparently it’s the fourth book in a very adult sci-fi series, but it is an outlier containing super YA-ness. I later learned that it’s a retelling of the third book in the series from the point of view of the teenager on the ship/planet. While it was decent enough on it’s own, it didn’t pull me in to the rest of the series.

Format: Physical
Rating: 4.25/5
Genre: Romance/Fantasy
Warnings: Time Travel, Grief, Suicide, Pregnant Friend
Why I read it: Curiosity and seeing it all over the place
I’d recommend this to: readers who love that anxious feeling of missed connections

This was a lovely (and pretty tame) romance that had humor and fun – all while circling very serious topics of loss and the importance of self growth and timing in relationships. Adding in the magic of an apartment that time travels at random, it makes for a very interesting story. The author does an awesome job of weaving timelines together, but time travel in general gives me great anxiety. Ha! I couldn’t give it 5 stars, because it just made me tense. On the flip side, I finished it very quickly after a slow start. I read the first 25% in two weeks and then finished the book in two days. So it definitely picks up the pace!

Format: Physical
Rating: 5/5
Genre: Children’s Fiction
Warnings: Animal cruelty
Why I read it: I couldn’t avoid it any more.
I’d recommend this to: animal lovers and those in need of a quick read between genres.

Oh, Ivan. I avoided this book for 12 years. Still scarred from the movie Homeward Bound, I tend to avoid animal stories. Stupid tearjerker animal stories. However, I was subbing in fifth grade a few weeks ago and read aloud the first 16 pages after teaching a quick lesson about the real gorilla that inspired the story. I was hooked. Fast forward two days later to when I’m crying in my cereal. Stupid tearjerker animal stories. Sigh. It was wonderful.

Format: Mix of Audio/Physical
Rating: 2.75/5
Genre: Mystery, humor, light romance
Warnings: language, dead body plays a significant role
Why I read it: I enjoyed Vera Wong’s Unsolicited Advice for Murderers
I’d recommend this to: Fans of Vera Wong and readers that don’t mind ridiculousness

Crazy Rich Asians (cultural/family dynamics surrounding a billionaire’s wedding) meets Finlay Donovan (light romance and funny accidental murder) meets Weekend at Bernie’s (yep, the dead guy makes an appearance in a suit). This is a funny and light read, but it is all over the place. The heart of the book tends to get lost in over the top antics and writing saturated in social media/pop culture phrases. “Oh my God. I look at the groomsmen. They’re drunk AF.” No, thanks.

Format: Physical
Rating: 5/5
Genre: Romance
Warnings: General family/relationship issues, fake dating
Why I read it: Emily Henry was my gateway to enjoying romance books.
I’d recommend this to: anyone wanting a gateway to enjoying romance books

I loved her other books, but this one is BY FAR my favorite. The way Emily Henry writes realistic friendships, relationships, and feelings – whew – I devoured this book in 24 hours. It had all the wonderful dynamics of her other stories, but especially catered to all of my preferences in the romance genre: one POV, strong female lead, non-dopey male love interest, chronological order w/out significant time jumps, healthy communication (or at least eventual healthy communication), and characters to root for. My dream. That said, it’s spicy enough where I would have to deny that you got this book recommendation from me, but if you don’t mind that….this book is just delicious.

Format: Mix of Physical/Audio
Rating: 1/5
Genre: Children’s (?) Fiction
Warnings: abusive sibling, family stress, middle/low class prejudice, violence
Why I read it: It was assigned to my fifth grader’s reading club
I’d recommend this to: No one. It was not fun.

As an elementary teacher, I had seen the cover of this book for years. Finally, I was pushed to read it, because I like to know what my kid is up to in his reading group. Well, I would have quit this one if my son didn’t have to finish it. It was a solidarity finish. This book was really disturbing and uncomfortable, with an abusive big brother and an overwhelming sense of unease throughout the entire book. The way it all wraps up is fine, but the 250+ pages before that are boring and painful. I understand that this would give book club groups a lot to talk about (middle school and class/wealth social dynamics, athletic policy, citrus farming, standing up for others), but it was really hard to find any character or story line likable in this one. Ben’s review: “Well, that was a roller coaster!”

Format: Mix of physical and (mostly) audio
Rating: 3.25/5
Genre: Sci-fi, Fantasy, Romance
Warnings: Language, 2 pages of spicy explicitness
Why I read it: Found on a list of “cozy fantasies”
I’d recommend this to: fans of Practical Magic and found family stories

I couldn’t end April with a depressing children’s novel, so I squeezed in this lovely little cozy fantasy to end the month. If you want a “found family with quirky characters” book, please put this down and go read The House in the Cerulean Sea instead. You’re welcome. But if you want a similar book with witches, keep going with this one. This book started so strongly with The Sound of Music vibes (who doesn’t love a nanny winning over children and falling in love with a hot curmudgeon??) but fizzled a bit at the end. It wrapped things up a little too conveniently with a random twist. And I don’t mind the occasional explicit sex scene, but this one was 2 pages and very out of place. If you removed those two pages and about ten curse words, I could easily recommend this to so many more people. Because the rest is just charming.

Congratulations, everyone! We made it through another month.

Please send me your recommendations (if you dare). The library just alerted me to pick up a couple more romance books that I’ve had on hold for a while. Eek. We will see if I have to over-correct again next month and find myself in the horror genre by June. But let’s be honest – romance books can be their own kind of horror. Happy Reading!

It was a great month of reading with a wide range of genres. In fact, three books this in March jumped to the top of my favorites for the year. I continue to lean hard on audio books – but sometimes it’s just hard to sit down (or read too late at night without falling asleep). I love Libby and Hoopla for free library books from the library and try to match them up with the physical books I check out as much as possible. I like options and momentum!

Here’s the monthly recap:
Audio: 7
Physical: 4
Audio/Physical Tag Team: 4
Quits: 3

Format: Audio
Rating: 3/5
Genre/Topics: Middle Grade Fiction
Warnings: N/A
Why I read it: Spotted in a 6th Grade Classroom Book Club
I’d recommend this to: upper elementary kids that like a little light mystery

The year is 2040 (Too Soon!?) and Dashiel is living on the moon with his scientist parents in the first lunar colony. When a scientist dies in an accident – could it be MURDER!? The set up and suspects are pretty boring, but the twist at the end is fun. It was fine.

Format: Physical
Rating: 4.75/5
Genre/Topics: Fiction, Light Mystery
Warnings: Domestic Abuse, Language, Grief
Why I read it: Friend Recommendation
I’d recommend this to: My Moms! (The highest honor)

My favorite book of the year so far – and maybe top 10 of the last two years. High Praise! It’s easy to read and a fun adventure with an unlikely friendship, character development, and fun twists. Unreliable narrators usually drive me crazy, but the main character tells half-truths for the entire book, so it’s okay if I fell for a few misleading plot lines and got surprised. It’s clever and sweet and funny. If you liked Finlay Donovan series, you will probably enjoy this one. I love when I finish a book and want to hug it.

Format: Physical/Audio
Rating: 3.75/5
Genre/Topics: Children’s Fiction
Warnings: Domestic Violence, Drugs, Poverty, Guns
Why I read it: Ben’s book club was reading it!
I’d recommend this to: Anyone needing a quick book to switch up genres

This was an intense story about a boy that finds belonging in a track team. It’s a story with a strong voice about friendship and empathy, giving second chances and looking beyond someone’s circumstances. It has my favorite quality in a book: someone to root for.

Format: Physical & Audio
Rating: 5/5
Genre/Topics: Fairy Tale, Magic, Childhood
Warnings: N/A
Why I read it: Friend Recommendation
I’d recommend this to: Anyone wanting to remember what it’s like to be a kid

A girl helps an imaginary creature find its home. This is the perfect example of a book needing to hit in the exact right mood. I actually DNF’d this book last year because I tried reading it out loud to the boys – and they weren’t that into it. But I picked it up again this year and thought it was the sweetest little book and cried at the end. So…..five stars.

Format: Audio/Physical
Rating: 3/5
Genre/Topics: Childrens
Warnings: N/A
Why I read it: A dose of cuteness in a classic
I’d recommend this to: Anyone needing short stories and a chuckle

I did not grow up with this story and actually saw the movie first. It’s a lovely little tale of a talking bear joining a family in England. The series of short stories are sweet but very random. Should we explain the whole talking bear thing? Nah, just roll with it.

Format: Physical
Rating: 3/5
Genre/Topics: YA Romance/Adventure
Warnings: Teen angst
Why I read it: Friend Recommendation
I’d recommend this to: teens and romcom fans

This was a hard one to rate. It started as the most adorable little five-star adventure (and that’s even when YA romance makes me throw up a little in my mouth), but slowly turned into an “ope, that’s weird” and finished up as a “I didn’t hate it”! An uptight American teen meets a depressed runaway Prince of Wales and they end up traveling Europe while a doomsday meteor heads to destroy Earth. Honestly, it’s pretty cute and charming – but the end is rushed and super weird. I was so confused, until I found out the sequel will arrive this summer. That fact definitely explains the seemingly unnecessary cliffhanger.

Format: Physical/Audio
Rating: 3.75/5
Genre/Topics: Sci-fi
Warnings: Language
Why I read it: Husband Recommendation
I’d recommend this to: someone that wants to dabble in Sci-fi but not too much

This was an interesting example of how I had to switch from an audio book to the physical book to enjoy the story. I knew I would like the plot, but the narrator was a little more snarky than how I would interpret it. It’s amazing what a difference it makes! It strays a bit from the sci-fi to give a little commentary on the impact of fame and social media. It came off a bit preachy at times, but it was an interesting (and fast-paced) read with a bit of a riddle thrown in. For better or worse, it comes with a pretty significant cliffhanger with an intimidatingly larger sequel. I’m interested in it – but it needs to wait in the queue!

Format: Audio
Rating: 3/5
Genre/Topics: Upper Elementary Fiction
Warnings: Financial Hardships, Family Conflict
Why I read it: It had a giant fluffy cat on the cover.
I’d recommend this to: parents wanting to talk about hardships with upper elementary kids

Look at that cover – gorgeous! And a giant imaginary cat!? Sweet! I wanted to preview this one to see if it would interest my fifth grader. However, it turned out to be much heavier than I expected. Yes, there’s a sweet giant imaginary friend story – but I found this part of the book to be greatly underutilized. That cat is barely in the book – which revolves around a family’s struggle to stay in their home and make ends meet. It’s a great (and sad) book about growing up – but do not expect much on the comedic giant cat front.

Format: Audio
Rating: 3.25/5
Genre/Topics: Adult Fiction, Light Mystery
Warnings: N/A
Why I read it: Fan of the other books in the series
I’d recommend this to: fans of the first three books

This was an easy and short read that is technically a prequel to the series. It gives more background into the Vero (sidekick) character. While it’s a cute mystery, this adventure is not nearly as exciting or funny as the full books. In fact, not too much actually happens. However, it got me excited about reading #4 very soon (I’m #1 in the library wait list!).

Format: Audio
Rating: 4.25/5
Genre/Topics: Children’s/YA Fantasy
Warnings: Peril
Why I read it: It was about time!
I’d recommend this to: Harry Potter fans, gateway to fantasy genre

I must have been at the exact age where I was too busy to start another fantasy series that was geared toward kids. It started in 2005, so that tracks. However, I’m glad that (19 years later), I finally got around to reading this one. It definitely echoes Harry Potter (hello, boy that finds out he has super abilities that goes to a special place where other kids like him have to go on adventures – and a boy/boy/girl trio are apparently the only ones that can take things on even though it seems like a grown up should somehow handle these things??). Anyway, it is a super fun adventure that woke up all that mythology knowledge that was shoved in my brain sometime in an elementary language arts class. I hope to continue the adventure soon!

Format: Physical
Rating: 2.75/5
Genre/Topics: Fantasy, Romance, Adventure
Warnings: Explicit doin’ it, language, violence
Why I read it: Sometimes you have to check out books that make you snort-laugh from reading the back cover
I’d recommend this to: No one. I just can’t. It’s too much. I’m embarrassed.

Ummmmm. So you know that old story about how a witch steals from her vampire ex and falls through a portal and gets picked up by a hot magical pirate and they get super lusty while also starting a revolution within pirate politics and then they eventually have to team up with the vampire ex to all survive? I hate that I didn’t hate this book and will probably read the sequel. BUT YOU DIDN’T HEAR ABOUT IT FROM ME.

Format: Audio
Rating: 2.25/5
Genre/Topics: Thriller, Fiction, Country Music
Warnings: Domestic violence
Why I read it: James Patterson is on my library challenge.
I’d recommend this to: someone who needs a nap

The audio book for this was very well done – Dolly Parton, Kelsea Ballerini, and a full cast – but wow, was it a snooze fest. There was no thrill in this thriller. I can’t roll my eyes hard enough when I can finish the sentences in audiobooks because they are so cliche. A girl with a mysterious past meets a boy with a mysterious past and helps her get in with a country superstar with a mysterious past. Nothing was surprising about any of the reveals and it was incredibly predictable.

Format: Audio
Rating: 5/5
Genre/Topics: Memoir, Motherhood, Pets
Warnings: Miscarriage, Grief, Pet loss, Pandemic, Childbirth
Why I read it: She’s one of the only social media influencers that seems relatable
I’d recommend this to: Millennial women, all moms and pet lovers that need to cry

I did not see this book coming. I’ve followed the author on Instagram for a few years and love her comedy. So, when she promoted that she wrote a book, I put it on the Libby waitlist. Months later, it popped up and I tried it out. Within two days, the book is finished and I’m crying. WHOOPSIE DOOPSIE. Just like her Instagram posts, she has the perfect balance of “I love motherhood, but I don’t love everything about it all the time”. It’s honest and funny and beautiful. I hate books that make me cry, but if they can trick me into it – automatic five stars.

Format: Audio/Physical Tag Team
Rating: 3/5
Genre/Topics: LEGO Nonfiction
Warnings: N/A
Why I read it: A lot of my life revolves around LEGO and I needed to cleanse my brain (see: pirate lust from above) with some nonfiction
I’d recommend this to: LEGO lovers wanting a deep dive into the founding family

Even though I have strong Danish roots, I was very thankful for the audiobook assistance to walk me through the dozens and dozens of names in this very dense book. I hopped back and forth between the pictures in the book and the auditory narrator, and that worked really well to get me through this giant tale of the Kristiansen family. I was actually drawn to this because Ben and I watched half of a documentary when we were resting at LEGOland, and I found it all fascinating. The story of the LEGO family and business itself is a full five stars, but this book was oddly paced. It went into lengthy descriptions of some topics (patent law and family politics/management) and glazed over some things that I would have found much more interesting (development of products and more on LEGO culture).

Format: Physical
Rating: 4.25/5
Genre/Topics: Fiction, Light Thriller, Comedy
Warnings: Dead bodies
Why I read it: I loved the rest of the series
I’d recommend this to: readers in search of a lighthearted mystery

I have to admit that I was a little annoyed at the end of the third book that this series was going to keep going – she just kept opening more cans of worms and the light fun of the first book was getting too complicated. That said, I’m so glad the Finlay Donovan books kept going, because this one (while still ridiculously over-the-top) wrapped up a lot of those plot lines from the first three books – while allowing room for a continuation/reboot in the future. I would love to see what is next for the entire cast of characters – this series is just fun and reliable.

No a bad month, eh? I had a lot of fun with this batch of books, but let’s go ahead and wrap up this post with: March’s Quit List – DNF With No Regrets

This was in my “If You Liked…..” recommendation list, so I tried it out. If you were already a fan of Maria Bamford, maybe this would be great. However, I knew very little about her and the audio book was pretty obnoxious and overstimulating. I just didn’t quite get it, and that’s okay! DNF @ 9% (audio).

The premise was adorable – match up the basics of the Wizard of Oz to a modern story. I was charmed by the concept but was then thwarted by my most hated character: Insecure Female Lead. Oh, it was painful. Imagine if Dorothy spent the entire plot of Oz hung up on the trauma from the tornado. Would it be justified? Absolutely. Would it be fun? No. I made it 38% before I was about to throw my book across the room if I heard one more mention of the following: her ex, the book her ex wrote, trying to interpret a text from her ex, missing her sister, her insecurities about her writing skills, her concerns about the future, wondering if she’s good enough, shocked she found a new friend in a new city. Okay, you get it. She was miserable, and I have liberated myself from her pouting.

I mean….look at that cover! So PRETTY!! Portals to other worlds!? So intriguing!! This is for the fans of The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue – it was not meant for me. And that’s okay. I made it a whopping 138 physical pages before I could no longer go on. This book was such a tease – every time it flirted with being almost interesting, it would suddenly switch points of view and bore me to Boredomtown, USA. It would lose all momentum. I know it’s supposed to be amazing, but I just couldn’t put any more effort into it. When a book feels like a chore, NEXT!

That’s it for now. I’m starting April with a book from Ben’s book club, a sci-fi thriller, and a sci-fi comedy. Here’s hoping – and Happy Reading, Friends!

The Good News: my reading habits from 2023 have continued, and I was able to devour 5 physical books, 8 audio books, and 1 audio/physical tag team. And I only quit three! The momentum continues!

The Hilarious News: I am still a super big MOOD reader and my ratings don’t necessarily follow the trend of my own demographic. So feel free to say “She hated that? Ooh! That probably means I’ll like it!”

The Bad News: February didn’t give me any “OMG YOU HAVE TO READ THIS” books (unless you like spy cats and cursing dolphins – see below). My selection felt a lot like the month we are in: stay the course, try your best, and look forward to better things coming in summer.

Let’s begin the recap!

Format: Physical Book
Rating: 3.25/5
Genre/Topics: Memoir/Advice, SNL, Parenting, Race, Friendships, Acting/Comedy
Warnings: None, other than finding out that Kenan likes the club scene, haha.
Why I read it: Hollywood memoir, Kenan!

I still watch SNL and remembered Kenan Thompson since his days on All That. This was an entertaining memoir, but I wish I would have gone with the audio book – I’m sure his delivery would have made all of the stories so much better. The written version is super unorganized and sometimes repetitive. It reads like a diary or transcripts of random thoughts. So, I’m still a fan and enjoyed his point of view, but the book was super choppy and fell flat.

Format: Physical Book
Rating: 3.75/5
Genre/Topics: Middle Grade Fiction, Friendship, Survival/Reality TV, Everglades, Adventure, Family Relationships
Warnings: Child/Domestic Abuse, Guns
Why I read it: My kid was reading it for a book club.

This is the second Carl Hiaasen book they’ve read this year, and Chomp is far superior to Hoot. While it does delve into issues of parental alcoholism/drugs/abuse, the setting is entertaining (the Everglades as the background for a survival show) and the characters have depth and humor.

Format: Audio
Rating: 3.5/5
Genre/Topics: Middle Grade Fiction, Fairy Tale/Adventure, Friendship, Magic
Warnings: Parent/Grandparent Death, Fairies are annoying
Why I read it: It was an available audio book. One time I checked it out and never read it.

I’m a sucker for any kind of “fractured fairy tale”, and this one was adorable. It’s not a must read and some of the magical plot is clunky, but there are fun twists and entertaining characters. It’s a solid adventure to explain Rumpelstiltskin’s point of view. If you want your middle grade student to eventually binge Once Upon a Time, this would be a good gateway book.

Format: Audio
Rating: 4.25/5
Genre/Topics: Little/No-Spice Romance, Strangers to Lovers, Oops – One Bed!, Fake Dating
Warnings: Grief, Cancer, Guns, Hostage/Suicide Talk, Drowning, Alcohol Abuse, Domestic Violene (I swear this is actually a lighter and funny romance!)
Why I read it: Goodreads “You Might Also Like….”

I don’t like many spoilers, so the biggest gamble when it comes to picking books in the romance genre is wondering what is going to happen behind the cute, animated cover. Last month’s gamble led me to a very explicit scene where I can’t unknow what I know about a character’s penis. This time, there was barely any description of body parts – but don’t worry, she is still regular size and he is SO TALL. (Please text me immediately if you have read a good romance book with a short male character. I need to know it exists.) But this was just a cute, lovely, easy romance. She’s hired to protect him – and is hilariously bad at it – and he is a celebrity with a cute family on a ranch.

Format: Audio
Rating: 2/5
Genre/Topics: YA Fiction, Dystopian Fractured Fairy Tale, Space Politics
Warnings: Global Pandemic, Space Politics
Why I read it: This was one of those books that had been on my teaching shelves for years, and I had never read it.

The concept – cyborg Cinderella – was super appealing. A book from 2012 with the setting of a plague in China was a super bummer. I wanted to like this book so much, but it was extremely bogged down and slow. The last 10% ramps up for a cliffhanger – so you find out that this entire book was just a launch to set up the series. But just like Shadow & Bone, the slow burn of setting things up in book one did not spark my interest to continue the series.

Format: Audio
Rating: 1.75/5
Genre/Topics: Dramatic Fiction, Making Deals with the Devil, Romance – kind of?
Warnings: Sexual assault, Mildly graphic sex, Curses, Unending talk of trees and stars, Suicidal talk/depression
Why I read it: The synopsis hooked me

She sold her soul for an eternity of being forgotten – but she can still influence history? Intriguing! But instead of hearing about being a spy in WWII, we get to hear about how she spends 300+ years hung up on the guy that cursed her? Blargh. I will completely admit that this was a compatibility issue between myself and Addie LaRue. I know that I’m supposed to love the poetic repetition and lengthy descriptions of every single thing, but it was not my jam. It could have used half of the words and been the same story. By the time I dragged myself to the end of the book, I honestly didn’t care if she broke her curse or not. I was exhausted.

Format: Physical
Rating: 4.75/5
Genre/Topics: Underdog Story, Humor
Warnings: Mild Violence, Language
Why I read it: Husband’s recommendation – Huzzah!

This book was just FUN. I totally rate my books on my overall emotions and reading experience. This was just the right book at the right time. I mean, the main character is a substitute teacher just trying to get by. Ha! When his estranged uncle dies, he gets swept up in the world of super villains. Any book that can be totally normal and then easily transition to a world where dolphins hilariously spout profanity for three pages gets an immediate five stars. Oh yeah, and typing spy cats. Winning.

Format: Audio
Rating: 2.75/5
Genre/Topics: Coming of Age story, Mob Mentality, Friendship, Outcasts, Artists
Warnings: Extreme Teen Angst, Mental Health, Attempted Sexual Assault
Why I read it: I really liked Nothing to See Here.

Kevin Wilson has a great way of making unlikable characters likable. I enjoy his writing style, but this book was a tough read. It oozes teen angst and obsession. So if you want a super creepy book with 90’s teens and cult like behavior, this might be for you!

Format: Audio/Physical Tag Team
Rating: 1.25/5
Genre/Topics: Fiction, Riddles
Warnings: Foster Care, Miscarriage, Child Abuse
Why I read it: The synopsis sounded up my alley.

Willy Wonka – but with books? Sounds good, right? This book had so much potential with that premise, but it was so uncomfortable. It could have been FUN!!! But instead, it swapped out Charlie Bucket with an insecure 26 year old named Lucy. The riddles were simple and the book was slow. It was a game of how many awkward and creepy relationships could fit in one book: Lucy promises a kid with lots of trauma that she’ll be his mom, Lucy and the illustrator have a super awkward romance, Lucy has daddy issues with the author, Lucy and her estranged sister, Lucy and the abusive ex, the author and the other contestants that are just kind of hanging around with their own trauma. I could go on. No fun at all for a book that has WISHING and GAME in the title.

Format: Audio
Rating: 4.25/5
Genre/Topics: Rivals to Lovers, Writers, Second Chance Romance
Warnings: Adultry, Grief, Mild/Medium Spiciness (they do it, you guys)
Why I read it: It was a grumpy/sunshine sure thing.

I read this last year as my gateway to romance and Emily Henry books, so I went back for the audiobook. I flew through the reread/listen and really enjoyed revisiting this story. The tension! The banter! The miscommunication was more frustrating than I remember, but it’s still just a solid little romance about a couple of very stubborn writers.

Format: Physical
Rating: 3.25/5
Genre/Topics: Second Chance Romance, Friendship Reunions, Holiday Fiction
Warnings: Friend Suicide/Grief, Bullying, Adultery
Why I read it: A friend loaned it to me!

Nory owns a cute bookshop in London but needs to reunite with her snobby friend group for a wedding. The romance with the hot gardener is lovely (and fades to black when things get going), but the love story is buried underneath the drama of the annoying friends. Overall, it’s a lovely Hallmark type holiday movie, but it would also be the same exact story with 100 fewer pages and 10 fewer characters.

Format: Audio
Rating: 4.5/5
Genre/Topics: YA Fiction, Social Justice, Teen Experiences
Warnings: Racism, Language, Police Shooting, Riots, Drugs
Why I read it: It kept popping up as an available audio book, and I couldn’t believe I hadn’t read it yet.

I will totally admit that I read to feel good and escape – so I put off reading this heavy book for way too long. However, I’m glad that I finally read/listened to it, as it lived up to all the hype and chatter surrounding it. This is a textbook for empathy and seeing things from different perspectives. It’s heartbreaking and beautifully told and intense and hopeful and depressing and all other feelings in one book. The audio book was very well done.

Format: Audio
Rating: 1/5
Genre/Topics: Fake Dating Romance
Warnings: Lots of Doin’ It
Why I read it: DMPL Challenge Author

Hey. I know that you flew to see me for the weekend and you can’t keep your hands off me – but do you even like me?
I’m a confident career woman, but why won’t he text me? I feel pretty, but other girls are so much prettier. Does he even like me?
If you like those vibes, you will love this book.

Format: Physical
Rating: 4.25/5
Genre/Topics: Sci-Fi
Warnings: Language, Mild Violence, Set in 2020 Covid times
Why I read it: I loved Starter Villain.

Sometimes you just need to escape into a world where average food delivery employees get caught up in a top secret world of traveling to other dimensions and studying Godzilla-like monsters. Why not? With a great cast and fun banter, I am 2/2 on enjoying John Scalzi novels. And any author that can make a book set in 2020 lighthearted is a star in my book.

The February Quit List! Drumroll pleeeeeeeease:

She’s a big city woman. He’s a country boy. They both have secrets.
Do you remember when Whose Line is it Anyway did film noir spoofs? That is how this book is written, but I think it was trying to be serious. I seriously thought it was a parody. When I’m literally laughing out loud during a thriller, I need to embrace it or stop immediately. This one had short, choppy sentences oozing with cliches that were super cringe-tastic. Within 24 hours of meeting her, the dude was “drawn to her like a moth to the flame” and wanted to bite her plump bottom lip. Even now, if I described the plot, it might seem interesting – but it’s just so uncomfy. I quit this book rather early on but still had to hear about the woman’s “blue, blue eyes” at least three times. DNF @ 16%.

I’ve seen this author everywhere and saw positive reviews of this while looking for a thriller. Apparently, I am just not in the mood this month, hahaha. Infidelity, a shoe obsession, bullying, teacher accusations, and so much teen angst. It was better writing than the Jeneva Rose book – and I’m sure there was a cool twist coming – but it’s a pause for now. DNF @ 27%.

It’s not a bad book. In fact, it’s a promising fairy tale adventure. However, I was not in the mood and the characters just couldn’t pull me in – even when the audio book narrator had a fun accent and did voices. DNF @ 23%.

That’s the February wrap up! I’m in the middle of 3 very promising books, so stay tuned for March!

Hey! I’m still reading!! I leaned heavily on audio books this month to keep the momentum going, and I’m happy to report that my reading journey continues.

The Cat Who Saved Books
Format: Audio
Rating: 2.75/5 Stars
Themes/Issues: Grief, Friendship, High School, Books are Good
Library Challenge: Read a Book that has been Translated

In a quest to find more “cozy fantasy” reads, this book popped up and looked interesting. I want to retitle it: If Mary Poppins was a Cat. Basically, a high school boy needs comfort, a talking cat pops up and takes him on adventures, and we all feel better. It’s pretty boring and incredibly preachy about how books are the key to empathy. However, if you need a gentle and quick tale about friendship and the benefits of reading, this would do the trick.

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child
Format: Physical Book/Play
Rating: 3/5 Stars
Themes/Issues: Middle Child Syndrome, Time Travel, Grief, Parenting/Relationships, Magic
Library Challenge: Read a book you meant to read in 2023

On one hand, this did not need to be made at all if you love Harry Potter. Seeing him as a frustrated dad is kind of a bummer. However, it would make an interesting play, and I’m really curious how they pulled it off on stage. It was fine, but – unless you love the time turner plotlines – it’s okay to skip this one.

Nothing to See Here
Format: Audio
Rating: 3.75/5
Themes/Issues: Friendship, Child Abuse, Empathy
Library Challenge: Read a book out of your comfort zone

My husband recommended this book, and it’s one of the weirdest, sweetest, and unique books I’ve read yet. A woman gets recruited to take care of an estranged friend’s step-children….who just happen to spontaneously combust from time to time. It’s funny and heartbreaking and lovely.

Raiders of the Lost Heart
Format: Physical Book
Rating: 4.25/5
Themes/Issues: Rivals to Lovers, Archeology, Ridiculous Adventure

I have to read any book that makes me snort-laugh in the middle of the library just by reading the cover. This was over-the-top and super dumb and a lot of fun. It is spicy and stupid and don’t judge me.

I Must Say: My Life as a Humble Comedy Legend
Format: Audio
Rating: 3.75/5
Themes/Issues: Comedy, Family, Cancer, Hollywood

The audiobook is the way to go for this one – he does alllll the voices. While he is over-the-top in the most Martin Short of ways, there is a lot of heart to this book. Between the name-dropping and crazy tales, it’s grounded in his love of family and friends. If you like Martin Short’s comedy, you will probably like him more after this book (which is not always the case in some of these memoirs…).

The Toll
Format: Physical Book
Rating: 4.25/5
Themes/Issues: Bleak Dystopian Future, Light Romance, Mystery, Cults, Ethics

The finale to the Scythe trilogy was a monster of a book. The author realized that he opened three billion cans of worms and tried valiantly to wrap them up over the course of 600 pages. It was…..a lot. But it kept me engaged and interested for those 600 pages, so that’s good enough for me to rate it pretty high. The most impressive thing in this book series is the connection that the main characters have when they are constantly separated. It wasn’t as good as the second book, but it was a satisfying end to the series.

The Wonderful Wizard of Oz
Format: Audio
Rating:4.5/5 Stars
Themes/Issues: Quests, Friendship, Random Adventures
Library Challenge: Read a Book Written over 50 Years Ago

It’s time for another classic that I realized I never read! The shoes were silver, the wicked witch played a minor role, and it wasn’t necessarily a dream. This was a full dose of weirdness and it hit me while in the exact right mood.

Ghosted
Format: Physical Book
Rating: 1/5
Themes/Issues: Abandonment, Toxic Family, Car Accidents, Mental Health, Infertility/Pregnancy, Mystery

Once again, the beauty of varying book opinions struck again. A lovely friend loaned me this book (thanks for trying, friend!), and I had to tell her I didn’t like it. Oops! While it was an intriguing mystery (WHY WAS SHE GHOSTED!?), it also checked a hilarious amount of tropes/plotlines that I despise: time jumping, unreliable narrators, infertility/childbirth, and miscommunication. It was not my friend’s fault that it triggered me so, and I do understand why people would like it – it’s just not for me, and that’s okay!

Gleanings
Format: Audio
Rating: 3/5
Themes/Issues: Bleak Dystopian Future, Ethics, A Sentient Dog?
Library Challenge: Read a Collection of Short Stories

But, wait! There’s more of the Scythe universe?!? This collection of short stories was based off of the characters and plots of the original trilogy, but it only skirts the edges of the main characters and stories. It was an interesting concept with a variety of authors and narrators, but it was rather unnecessary and short story collections are really my jam.

The Wild Robot Protects
Format: Audio Book
Rating: 3/5
Themes/Issues: Environmentalism, Courage, Futuristic Adventures

The amazing robot, Roz, is back for her third book. It is much more heavy handed in its lessons (pollution is bad, y’all) and a little less charming than the first two books, but it would still be a fun read for any kid (or adult) that likes lovely illustrations, daring quests, and saving the planet.

Format: Audio
Rating: 1.5/5
Themes/Issues: Fake Dating, Enemies to Lovers, Family Relationships

Beware the cute animated covers! This book was super raunchy and borderline crude. I don’t mind that occasionally, but I at least want to be rooting for the couple at the time. The only thing more colorful than the language used in the book is the amount of red flags in the relationship. They are doomed. (Trombone slide sound effect)

Format: Physical Book
Rating: 4.75/5
Themes/Issues: Acceptance, Empathy, Child Abuse, Found Family
Library Challenge: Reread a Book that You Love

Is this book perfect? No. A bit preachy and not-so-subtle? Sure. But if you have an open mind and a weird sense of humor, this book is just lovely. It houses one of my favorite book characters of all time (A kid blob monster that just wants to be a bellhop? Yes, please.) TJ Klune has written one of my favorite books and one of my least favorite and one in the middle – ha! – but his writing makes me want to write, which is pretty cool.

Even though the greatest key to my reading success last year was being able to *quit* books, I really wanted to try to stop adding to the DNF (did not finish) list. However, sometimes books aren’t compatible with your brain or season of life. These books got the honor of being my first quits of the new year:

I might come back for this one later, but reading about mom cliques did not mesh with my mood.

Huge bursts of potential fun and adventure – but I was just so bored in between those bursts. Quit @ 33%.

I realized this is the second time I’ve quit this book – Oops! It starts out so funny – and I love a good Hollywood memoir – but this one just lost me in the super-casual style and obsession with designer handbags. DNF @ 33%.

A dystopian tale set in the year 2049?! TOO SOON. The “Read with Jenna” book club had gone 2/2 in winners, but this one did not do it for me. 3 POVs and I didn’t really care about any of them. OOPS. Quit @ 23%.

Let’s see what February will bring. Thanks for following along!

I never understood people who said they liked to read books for fun, so I set a goal of 23 books in 2023. And I……got a little carried away. I wound up with 130 books under my belt and found joy in the hobby. I’m going to give my highlights and book awards below, but feel free to find me on Goodreads and check out all the titles from this year.

A Quick Disclaimer
I had the most fun discovering how wide the range of opinions can be about the same exact book. It’s a beautiful thing. I really tried to push my boundaries and try new things this year. That said, I will try my best to add a symbol for some basic trigger warnings for books that had significant events in the following areas:

* Graphic/Explicit/Raunchy. (See #8 above) These books still made the list, but I won’t be reading them in front of my mother anytime soon.
^ Violence or Gore. I am not a fan of blood or torture, but it’s going to sneak into plots I liked – especially fantasy and thrillers.
% Other: Abuse, addiction, death, or other trauma

Books that Made Me Fall in Love with Reading Again:

Favorite Series:

Best Fantasy/Science Fiction:

Best Romance:

Best Thrillers/Mysteries:

Best Nonfiction/Memoir:

Popular or Recommended Books that I Didn’t Like at All:

Crazy Endings or Intense Cliffhangers (No Spoilers!):

Woah. That was Weird:

Honorable Mention for Books/Authors that Helped Me Read this Year:

Thanks for coming along on this ride of 2023 with me! I’m excited to continue this hobby in the new year. Let me know if you have any recommendations – but remember #2 from above. My opinions are many and vary wildly. Ha! Happy Reading in 2024!